Every month, when I have Holy Hour at Four AM, I simultaneously dread and welcome the disruption to my schedule. The time with Our Lord, metaphysically present in the consecrated Host, always affords me new insights. Today, I learned that I need to step up my empathy and compassion “game”, if you will. I’m far too quick to rage at my enemies. I have to remember that the anger I’m feeling is probably not at them, but somebody else, somebody that I feel like I can’t feel anger towards, like my wife. Or maybe the anger isn’t specifically directed toward anyone. It’s just there and it must be directed to someone. Could be just some chemical, like adrenaline, that’s simply there. And if I feel this way, maybe other people feel the same way in their anger. It is misplaced, misdirected or just excess adrenaline.

So I get home, sleep, wake up and am desperate to sleep again. I have that groggy semieuphoric feeling that comes with sleep deprivation, just before I throw in the towel and doze off.

Night y’all. More accurately Day, y’all. 😪

I swam tonight, 2500 meters. This makes three consecutive days at that distance. I’ve let the good things back in. I have ignored that which is a source of despair for me.

There is still a high level of craziness in the world I am powerless to control or even influence. So I let it go.

Holy Hour is at Four AM. Given my sleep patterns I guess if I fall asleep, fine. If not, I will make up for it in the morning. My stepmother has some health issues. She will be in my prayers tonight.

That’s all folks!

I took my week off from posting. I read the usual blogs, however. I’m still somewhat disengaged from the world. That isn’t necessarily bad. Because what the plugged-in World considers engaged is watching the media outlets through which propaganda is disseminated. These outlets also use your viewership (or equivalents) to determine advertising rates, for all forms of media from print to the internet.

Emotionally and rationally there is still a lot going on with me. Today 4 October marks the 39th anniversary of the day ex-wife #2 and I were married.

1980 was an election year. I remember my dear friend and mentor Bill R was there with a Cranston lapel pin prominently displayed (Allen Cranston D-CA was a prominent liberal Senator of that era). Nobody took the prospect of a Reagan victory seriously. So liberals, like ex-wife #2 and me, were surprised when Reagan won. We said publicly we were surprised. We all deep down knew that Carter had made a mess of things and was doomed

But that marriage was more about mental illness and alcohol than politics. So when 4 October rolls around, I seem to revisit the pain, more than anything else.

More on lots of stuff later.

It is 4:06 AM here in Richmond. Somewhere, on my computer feeder I saw where the temperature was 71°F (22°C).This does represent a cool down from the 100°F (37.77°C) that I saw on my car’s thermometer yesterday afternoon.

While outside it has cooled down. I am still sweaty and sticky from my workout (2500 meter swim) yesterday evening around 9:00 PM. This happens from time to time.

So I have not slept much.

The house overfloweth….

With sun care products that need to be shipped out. J is packing up what she took from the stores. She isn’t quite sure if she will be compensated for this work performed outside of the stores. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

All I am saying right now.

I won’t be posting for a while. I’m emotionally drained and depressed. I’m fed up with sanctimonious narrow-minded cowards who dream of licking the soles of Nancy Pelosi’s high-heel pumps. F**K you! I’m just exhausted.

How come we don’t call the billionaires and millionaires that run this country, the Silicon Valley magnates, the Bushes, Kennedys, Clintons, Romneys, Rockefellers, even Trump oligarchs? How come these creeps who wield power out of the public view aren’t assigned a negative name?

I turned off the TV. The Smartphone is next after this post. I’m tired. I’m sick of most of the crap I see or read or hear about in this country, from automobiles to politicians to the cowardly bishops in the American episcopate of the Roman Catholic Church.

Mostly just tired. J has a second job. She took a week off job #1 to take down “sun care” endcaps in the area Publix Stores, (They are a chain out of Florida, nice stores). She has only about seven stores but these are huge undertaking. The shelves are crammed with bottles and tubes and aerosol cans of sun tan lotions. Plenty left over. Evidently melanoma won out this Summer around here. It’s a six hour job taking the junk down, counting it, letting the receiving clerk take it out of stock and boxing it.

So I’ve been sitting around getting frustrated about being more or less ignored. I’m feeling crazy. Stuff that shouldn’t bother me is bothering me. I need to sleep.