Every month, when I have Holy Hour at Four AM, I simultaneously dread and welcome the disruption to my schedule. The time with Our Lord, metaphysically present in the consecrated Host, always affords me new insights. Today, I learned that I need to step up my empathy and compassion “game”, if you will. I’m far too quick to rage at my enemies. I have to remember that the anger I’m feeling is probably not at them, but somebody else, somebody that I feel like I can’t feel anger towards, like my wife. Or maybe the anger isn’t specifically directed toward anyone. It’s just there and it must be directed to someone. Could be just some chemical, like adrenaline, that’s simply there. And if I feel this way, maybe other people feel the same way in their anger. It is misplaced, misdirected or just excess adrenaline.
So I get home, sleep, wake up and am desperate to sleep again. I have that groggy semieuphoric feeling that comes with sleep deprivation, just before I throw in the towel and doze off.
Night y’all. More accurately Day, y’all. 😪