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  • 15 September 2020
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Dispatches From Dystopia

~ "What man by worrying can add one cubit to his span of years?"

Dispatches From Dystopia

Category Archives: Exercise/ Fitness

And Now, This…

11 Wednesday Dec 2019

Posted by David in Exercise/ Fitness, memoir, recovery, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

#Emotional trauma, #PTSD

I was up at 2:30 AM, stayed awake til 5:30. I wanted to see J off to work around 4:20. Then I went back to bed. I slept til around 9:30. I went to AA, and shared a traumatic moment from my childhood, that I rarely talk about. I must have been 8. It was summer, August. Mother was in a particularly angry(?) or emotionally distraught mood. I was not good at psychological assessment at that age. She was upset, and was about ready to drink a bottle of Dickinson’s Witch Hazel until I knocked it out of her hand. It was a glass bottle and it shattered. Nothing was ever said about this ever again. I thought she was going to kill herself. I knew that was a bad idea.

Now I know that this was an event of childhood trauma for me. And since, sixty-one years later, it still haunts me, this might be PTSD.

Having shared that, I went about my day. I did some shopping, found a nice beef eye round. I felt like taking a nap, but changed my mind and went swimming at the Y, first time this month. I did 1750 meters. And shaved afterwards. I used all the grooming products that make me feel masculine. As we say, if you want to gain self-esteem do estimable things. I slew one dragon from my past, bought a nice roast, and went swimming.

Now we are waiting to go get $1 tacos. I am working my way up out of the pit I fell in.

Night. 19 November 2019

20 Wednesday Nov 2019

Posted by David in cooking, Exercise/ Fitness

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Tags

#Serenity

The chili was well -received. It involves the fine art of opening the right cans of pre-seasoned chili beans lean ground beef (sirloin 90/10), diced tomatoes, an onion, plus McCormick chili powder, cumin, turmeric, and smoky paprika. Then I slow-cook it.

A swim happened, 1750 meters. I swam faster than yesterday.

The recyclables went out. I encountered some nasty hip pain in the recycle take-out. Naproxen and heat put it back under control.

J’s lunch is made. She bought some Arby’s Zucchini Muffins and has one ready for breakfast mañana.

I accomplished the things I wanted and needed to do. I’m gaining my serenity back..

Serenity.

Evening Update

13 Sunday Oct 2019

Posted by David in Exercise/ Fitness

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Tags

#Hope

Late lunch/early dinner with J, Swimming, watched some of the Yankees game with J. I bought her some of her favorite cookies. Desperation level is appreciably lower. I am as happy about the shift in circumstances as I can be.

Lack of sleep, body pain, more clutter around the house all combined to heighten the sense of hopelessness. Today showed me where the tools of recovery help. “Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle.” is one of those pithy sayings we take to heart.

Tomorrow I will go to 8:30 Mass, where I will meet my sister and brother-in-law. I will go swimming. I will fix chili for supper.

“I have to admit it’s getting better, getting better all the time.” Lennon/McCartney

Swim

03 Thursday Oct 2019

Posted by David in Depression, Exercise/ Fitness

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

swimming

I had been sleepy most of the day, most of the past three days actually. It occurred to me that maybe I should increase my dosage of antidepressant medication. Since my doctor said that was OK to do on my own, I did. Lots of things contribute to my dis-ease right now. The unusually high heat is one contributing factor. That the house is all topsy turvy from sun care endcap take downs is another.

It is of particular importance, therefore, that I swim regularly. And go to my AA meetings. So I did both today. In the evening, after I had exchanged some very encouraging comments from Jade. She wished me “Hugs and Happy swimming.” So I couldn’t really back out after that cheerful message. I did 2500 meters, over a mile and a half. I’m feeling better.

Thank you, Jade.

This Day, A Subtle Triumph, An Observation Validated.

04 Wednesday Sep 2019

Posted by David in Exercise/ Fitness, food

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

#DD/lg

We are limping into Fall with an air conditioning system that is not quite working. We have maybe one more hot day to deal with before it cools down again. I can ride out maybe a few hours of discomfort. Today I let the cool morning air in. I took a nap by an open window. Sweet.

J wanted to go out to dinner. We had an early meal, more of a lunch really at Cheesecake Factory. I ordered a Cuban sandwich. I ate only half of it, with the green salad that came with it. Very nice. I prefer the Cuban sandwiches at Kuba Kuba or Kuba Kuba Dos, but a bad Cuban sandwich is hard to find.

We went home. I took another nap beside my open window. I awoke around Seven PM. Do I go swimming? At first blush, no. Then after dithering about for half an hour, decided a swim would be the right thing to do. So I went.

I got my 1750 meters in, faster than yesterday. Then I showered, shaved, dressed and came home. The triumph to which the title refers is that I swam, instead of sitting around. On my return, I fixed J’s lunch. She has a chance to work at Target tomorrow so she is taking advantage of it.

This afternoon, I was chatting with a friend who is familiar with the BDSM lifestyles and variants. She lives in Vermont and met J on holiday six years ago. I shared I thought J was a “little”. Upon her observation of J during our visit, she said she thought she observed some “little” behaviors. Now I am more certain of the opportunity and challenge presented to me and my role as a “Daddy”.

Better Day For Sure

07 Wednesday Aug 2019

Posted by David in Birthday, Exercise/ Fitness, food, Uncategorized

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Tags

#barbeque, swimming

We just came back from a birthday dinner for my Stepmother. She is 94 today.

We had barbecue from TD’s, a classic hole-in-the-wall take away BBQ joint that are a tradition in the American South. The great unifying elements of Southern Culture are evangelical Protestantism, mainly Baptist, American football, and food (BBQ). Most Southerners, black or white, intersect on at least two of these common interests.

Food was good. Barbeque and greens, turnip greens, I think. Then we had Angel Food cake. Nice food. My brother-in-law coaches softball, so we chatted about softball and cricket. Both sports and baseball, too, get the power from the batting swing from the batter’s, or batsman’s core muscles, not just the shoulders.

I went to the Y for the first time in a month. The pool had major maintenance and repairs done over the past month. Good to be back. I really missed my swimming. I could have gone to another Y and swum, but didn’t. I got a 1 mile plus swim in.

So I’m feeling better. The world looks better. We have problems we can fix.

So there.

The Day.

28 Friday Jun 2019

Posted by David in Exercise/ Fitness, Family

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

#Shared Experience, Haircut

Here it is, Thursday night. I dropped the car off for an inspection. E., my regular mechanic, is on vacation in Lebanon, visiting family. So the other mechanic in the shop is doing work for two. But he did get it done today.

We went to meet with the financial advisor. We still have a little money. Leave it at that.

Between dropping the car off and the sit down with the financial guy, I got a haircut. 💇. It had been two months and two months of pool chemical infusion meant that what was passing for hair was actually a strange collagen abnormality that looked as nasty as it felt.

Then lunch. I had shrimp. They were pretty good.

A trip to BJ’s Wholesale Club came next where we purchased what seemed to be an insane amount of stuff, the BIG jug of detergent, the Ginormous bundle of bath tissue, the snack multipack, 3 liters of mouthwash. Somehow, we managed to spend $250+. The kicker is, we will use it. All of it.

The swim came tonight at 8:24. It would have been sooner, but I left my towel and bathing suit at home, necessitating a trip home to retrieve them. But it all worked out. I had my fastest time for the distance in the whole month. There is hope, pinched nerve and all.

J’s lunch is ready. I pitted some cherries, sliced a nectarine, so She gets some fruit variety from the usual strawberries, She has to be at the store at 4:30 AM. I wanted it set up so I don’t have to fix lunch at 3:00 AM.

We did a lot of stuff together today. It was basic stuff that people do in the course of living, not a European river cruise, or bungee jumping in New Zealand, or trekking in Nepal. You know it felt pretty good, intimate in its own way. Shared experience.

End Of The Day

15 Saturday Jun 2019

Posted by David in Exercise/ Fitness, food

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

#The Wild Bunch

Where do I start? It was a good day. Got some money deposited in my checking and bought fruit and seltzer and fish for dinner.

I wanted a donut, went to Dunkin’ Donuts, and bought two. They were OK. Not worth the WW points or the calories. I tried to take a nap with moderate success.

I went swimming, five days in a row. I had not done that in a while. The total for the week is over 6 miles. I am on pace for a good month. After a few setbacks, I should have a total of 100 miles swum between January and the end of June.

I came home, rested a while, fixed dinner. Grilled salmon, cold vegetables from last night, fresh tomatoes. I just finished some sliced fruit, mango, strawberries, and bananas.

I’m watching Sam Peckinpah’s The Wild Bunch. This may be my favorite Western of all time. The acting, story, action scenes, even the score work brilliantly.

So my neck/shoulder issues are greatly improved. The swimming, coupled with pain meds, heat and ice post workout are working.

I think I will watch Seinfeld now.

Today

11 Tuesday Jun 2019

Posted by David in cooking, Exercise/ Fitness

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Tags

#Cincinnati Chili, Popeye

Today, I made the vegan veggie burgers and had them for lunch.

I used the rest of the pinto beans in chili. I thought it was too tomato-y so I cooked some pasta real quick and served the chili over pasta, Cincinnati style. J liked it. I did too. My brother-in-law, an Ohio native can give me a refresher on the full Cincinnati Chili protocol, all the way up to “5 Way“.

I got a swim in. My weight is down over 2 lbs from Thursday. I swam 2050 meters in the same time as I did Thursday. J and I attribute the weight loss to running out of high fat, high carb foods in the house. Could be. It is almost a relief to go through the frozen food.

I watched some more D-Day related documentaries on YouTube. In many ways, it is the classic Anglo-American Epic Myth, in the positive sense of the term.

Now Popeye has my attention, timeless Popeye. He is, more than any other cartoon character, an urban character. The action takes place in cities. The Fleischer Studios were in New York, not Hollywood. One way or the other, he continues to delight me, as he has for almost 60 years.

Getting my erotic groove back. More later.

Home After Swim

12 Sunday May 2019

Posted by David in Exercise/ Fitness, Love and stuff

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

#Mother's Day

I slept real late, maybe noon. I decided lying down most of the day might help my neck/shoulder issues. I think it did. The pain is not bad at all. I also thought a swim would help. That too was beneficial. My goal around treatment is to do as much as I usually do using ice and heat, as needed to manage the inflammation.

Every time I decide that over the counter NSAIDs aren’t giving any pain relief, I have a day where they’re working. Go figure.

J is moping around because she has no biological children. I love her. She gets that. Still, with all the over the top Great To Be A Mom rhetoric and displays today, it is hard not to feel left out. I’m fixing dinner. Hope that helps.

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