This Morning: A List


This morning:

  1. I woke up before J.
  2. I made a pot of gunpowder green tea, according to the directions.
  3. I read other people’s blogs.
  4. I watched my Ukrainian metal detecting guys on YouTube, CrazySeeker.
  5. I wished I was back in bed, but J has to leave for work when it is dark outside.
  6. I wish I had known my cousin who was a lesbian and died at age 46 better.
  7. I want to visit New York, see a Yankees game, cross The Brooklyn Bridge, and go to the top of the Empire State Building.
  8. Swim later today.
  9. Sleep in a roomette on a train, and eat in the dining car again.
  10. Stop apologizing to myself for who and what I am.

Daddy’s Jobs


This Daddy/little girl dynamic is most intriguing. I find myself growing into the “Daddy” side of the dynamic. Today, she did not eat her lunch because she worked under six hours. After her work, we met at First Watch for lunch. When we got home,her Waldorf chicken salad felt warm and her ice pack lunch sack was basically room temperature. I told her I thought it would be OK to save it, but the more I thought about the less confident I felt about sending it with her another time.

“J, I think I should just make you new chicken salad. I’m throwing the old stuff out.”

“Thank you for doing that.”

I have some small container-sized blue ice blocks that I will now use in addition to her cold-pack lunch kit.

I found a Disney cartoon DVD at the library today, Ichabod And Mr Toad. These are retelling of The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow and The Wind In The Willows. What little girl doesn’t like Mr Toad and Company? I mean they are cute, as I remember them. I reserved a copy of the movie Anne Of Green Gables for her at the library.

When I went to Target, I found Peppridge Farm Cookies on sale so I bought two packages. She likes the Tate’s Bake Shop ones but I think those will be a special treat.

I don’t think she is conscious to a lot of these “little” characteristics. And if she were aware of any “age play” characteristics, I think she would be resistant. But letting out this part of herself isn’t necessarily a conscious process.

I want this to be more than a game. I want her to feel protected as she never has felt before.

Test Results For Test Results


In my last post, I posited I could go sleep for three hours, wake up and I will have missed very little from Australia’s innings. My conclusion is “mixed”. The Green Tops scored over 100 runs. The English took only 1 wicket. The big story was Steve Smith going out “injured” after being hit by Jafra Archer’s bouncer. Smith was decked by it; he was removed for a medical evaluation, and returned after Peter Siddle was out. Smith left at 80, made 12 more before being out lbw.

I watched Australia make a good run at the English. The loss of Smith was clearly significant. Had Smith remained, the result would have been different in all. Likelihood, given tbat Steve Smith has been the dominant batsman in the series. Comparisons to have been made to Sir Donald Bradman, the greatest ever of the batsmen.

I am amazed at my ability to blather on about cricket after only about ten week immersion into the game.

I have things to do today. I need to get some meds at the pharmacy, and do some cookie shopping for J, also shop dinner for tonight or tomorrow.

Day 4 Test 2 Ashes 2019



Here we are. This is Test Match #2 of The 2019 Ashes Series. It’s called The Ashes because way back when the series began, the Aussies beat the English so badly the sporting press declared English Cricket to be a smouldering ruin. The metaphor stuck and it was then decided that the trophy battled for would therafter be known as The Urn.

It looks like a nice day. I’m sure that will change. The match is at Lord’s, a venerable cricket ground, with the original architecture, evocative Queen Victoria and the glories of Empire.

Cricketers, among the world’s athletes have a unique look. They are lean, tall, and sinewy. The men could all be models for men’s fashions. I suppose if men’s fashions weren’t an absolute wasteland, they could all find work. Style, for men, has been on life support for years now. The tyranny of the tee shirt grips the world. Go to any mall, look at the males, you will see what I mean.

I didn’t really decide to watch the day’s “action” (cricket and action seem to be in conflict at times). I woke up after 4 hours sleep and decided i would just stay up. Just a few minutes ago, Matthew Wade of Australia was caught out in a nifty bit of fielding.

I assessed my progress in clearing the mess out. I see that I am getting somewhere. J will be up in about an hour

Last night’s shower before bed was welcome, making the clean sheets feel all that much nicer.

I could back to bed, sleep another three hours, wake up, turn to the match again and find that I have missed very little. So I am going back to bed to test my hypothesis.

Junk Mail

What do you do with your junk mail? I let it pile up, remorseful that I haven’t acted on it. Mostly it seems like charitable solicitations, insurance offers, and flyers for tours of the Rhineland, Antarctica,Egypt. Seems like the only place I don’t get a tour offer about is the Gulag Archipelago.

I spent the afternoon, whittling down this pile. It is quite a tedious chore. And there is more to be done. But I’ve just had enough.

I fixed homemade macaroni & cheese,only my recipe is more like cheese and macaroni. I don’t really know much cheddar I grated, but it was a lot. I use light cream in the sauce too. And regular old starchy macaroni, with plenty of gluten. Normally I avoid wheat, but exceptions exists, like for homemade Mac & Cheese.

So it is 1900 Hrs, 7:00 PM. Dinner has been prepared, served, and cleaned up. J is in bed, tired from work, sore also. She appreciates what I do. I found another of her stuffies, put it on the bed. She is grateful for the clean sheets.

I’m watching Kenneth Clark’s Civilisation, the segment on Erasmus, The Reformation, Dürer, Montaigne, and Shakespeare. Next up will be The Counter-Reformation.

My body is aching, yearning for love. It is still a ways away.


Up Before Eight

Yes! I went back to sleep after my 0330 wake up. I sat down only to discover that England and Australia had sat down for a spot of lunch. Then, to no one’s surprise, there came rain. England, you know. I surfed around, picked up the latest news on the Catholic clergy sex abuse scandal. I fixed a “clean-out”omelette, finishing off the mushrooms and sour cream that needed using up.

At one point, I decided to change the sheets, including rotating the mattress, no small feat with a queen. Sheets have been changed, bed frame polished, room dusted. Now I sit.

I got tired of J spending $3.36 at Dunkin’ Donuts for an iced tea every bloody day. It wasn’t so much the money as it was the friggin’ plastic cup, she got every damn time that make up 20% (?) of our recyclables. So I saved a lid, found a cup that it would fit and sent her off to work.This is the iced tea, I make for her, that she drinks as the alternative. Fuck that. The iced tea expense is absurd. It is over.

I will swim some time today, if the weather holds up.

Right now I am sitting with no TV on, no music playing, just some insects chirping outside. Lying down and the sheets are clean.

16 August 0330 Hrs.

I got bed before. 2300 hrs. I was tired I vacuumed (hoovered,.my favorite term in British slang) the downstairs after dinner. It had not vacuumed in a while. The vacuum cleaner is old and literally sheds parts.

Maybe I will just sit here until I can’t stay awake any longer. Yeah that’s what I shall do,



I went back to sleep for a couple of hours, awoke again around Nine, turned on The Ashes, fixed a pot of coffee, reheated my leftover steel-cut oatmeal from yesterday (not bad). Just sitting, I decided to get busy doing housework. It was housework by increments. Mission creep took over and within an hour, I was fully engaged. I did the kitchen counters, then the floor, the stove top. I noticed the kitchen floor had been neglected so I did a hands-and-knees, nylon sponge scrubbing on the spots like stuck tape, and those pesky, stuck on the surface “PLU” (Produce Look Up) code stickers, you find on nearly every pear, apple, orange, and avocado you buy.

Moving on to the downstairs bath, I found it fairly easy going. An easy clean up.

The upstairs bathroom was another story. The washer and dryer are in this bathroom, so it is a giant lint trap. I did lots of scrubbing, sweeping, and crevice work with a toothbrush. No more gross strings of dust and lint. For the tub, I used the Mr Clean© Magic Eraser to get the soap scum off the tub surfaces. Those suckers really work! I like them,

Mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet, and the sink, shining the chrome bright work, and I was done.

Now the truth be told, doing this after my spinal fusion is a bitcb physically but still as emotionally satisfying a when I did cleaning when I was healthy.

J came home to a clean house. I feel in charge when I get the house work done.

Blessing Of The Waters. Honey Fast


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We in the Latin Christian Tradition are unaware of the lesser fasts (Lents) observed by our brothers and sisters in the Eastern Orthodox traditions.

This morning , when I awoke way too early, I turned on YouTube and found the channel Svyatogorsk Lavra, operated by a Ukrainian Orthodox Monastery under the Patriarchate of Moscow. The monks, priests and bishops were holding a religious procession marking the end of this Lesser Fast, commemorating the Dormition of The Virgin. This corresponds to The Solemnity of The Assumption of The Blessed Virgin Mary in the Latin Church (August 15). The Assumption is the Feast where we remember Mary’s Assumption, both body and soul, into Heaven,

The liturgical vestments were in Violet, the penitential color. The procession at the monastery ended with the blessing of water and new honey, hence the name Honey Fast. The znamenny chant by the monks continued nonstop during this hour+ long rite. Nearly all the women covered their heads with lace mantillas, just as women did in the pre-Vatican II Roman Church. It is a lovely custom.

This monastery has been around since 1526, nearly five hundred years. As context, Luher posted his 95 Theses only nine years earlier, in 1517. The new St Peter’s Basilica in The Vatican was still under construction. This monastery is in Eastern Ukraine in the Donets basin. The area is contested berween Russia and Ukraine, with many ethnic Russians living in this area.

The point of this ramble and rant is about how little we know about Russia, Ukraine, and the rest of the old Soviet Union. The Russians and Ukrainians I observe on YT,, don’t look particularly interested in going to war. With anybody.

Watching this ancient rite from an area still shrouded in mystery for many of us, puts many of our issues within a global and temporal perspective. The faithful will endure, despite corruption, despite tyranny. Aspiring to Heaven carries its own graces.

Another Trip

J has two jobs, one principal part-time job, about 32 hrs a week, and a secondary job, average about two hours per week. She did a call on the second job in Williamsburg and I went with her.

Because of my newly found understanding of her nature, I decided I would dress in “adult” clothes, not the usual jeans, tee shirt and work shirt,with. Crocs© rubber shoes on my feet. So I chose a short sleeve Madras plaid shirt with red and yellow tones, grey cargo trousers that were ironed with an actual crease, and black lace-up canvas boots, the Palladium French paratrooper boots.

My objective was to not look like an over-age college boy or a tourist, since we were going to Williansbutg, a college town and major tourist destination. My objective was to be noticed by her, that I did something different for her.

I think this is all going to come together. Creating a space where she is safe and treasured is my goal.