It is 1:45AM Eastern Time. The subtle night sounds, insects, electric compressor motors break the silence.

I am awake. When we returned from $6 pizza night, I was tired. I had swum already. I lay down about 8:15 PM and ultimately slept a few times for maybe an hour. Catnapping. I decided around eleven to join J in the big bed, put in a Seinfeld DVD for my “bedtime” story. I last through maybe one episode on the disc before I fall asleep.

I woke up after 2 hours. I am awake, a little warm. I come downstairs, slice J’s fruit for work. I then prepped some salmon that needed cooking. It is cooking at 400°F for 30 minutes. I will have it for breakfast later with eggs, maybe grits (cheese grits?) on the side.

It took some effort on my part, but the TV is off. Reflexively I turned it on. I would then begin my search for something to watch. Usually. But I stopped, I read the posts from Succulent Savage, while I drink seltzer with lime. Routinely I drink decaf coffee, but even that can keep me up sometimes. I am now feeling sleepy. I think I will sleep in the twin bed, away from J. It’s easier, really.

Why do I think I still have to be awake and alert at Six AM, as if I have to be ready to go to whatever suck-y job I had when I worked? 41 years of bad decisions, buttressed by alcoholic drinking for twenty of those years, age 23 to 43. Then I found blue collar labour, and the satisfaction that comes with producing a tangible change in the physical environment, even if it was only a category section reset in a grocery store. My last twenty years working were my most satisfying. Neckties must affect circulation of blood to the brain in those executive-type jobs.

So now, I read, write, work out, practice patience, tolerance and understanding toward people who are as angry about the world as I once was. I also pray for the broken places and people. Silence is good for praying.

I’m sitting in my tan leather Scandinavian designed recliner, in front of the black hole that is my Tee-Vee. 📺. I have recorded my swim distance and time, looked at my Medicare utilization report, thrown out the day’s junk mail.

I swam 2100 meters today, doing a shorter distance just to break up the monotony. J is home, napping, because she is tired. All that remains on the sun care take down is sending the crap back.

Dinner will be a leftover extravaganza. I’m sleepy myself.

Nap time? 😪? Why not?

I went swimming, 2500 meters. I did the distance in 63 minutes: 14 seconds. I felt good swimming, meaning I could have swum farther, had I wanted to.

I am back upstairs with the no TV/YT guideline in place. J falls asleep with the TV on. So I hear it. The comforter is in the dryer. I will put it on the bed when it is dry.

But now it is a quiet time for me. I can think about sex, love, sport, or how I can get more comfortable. On my side works better. Are we just plain over stimulated?

One of the monks at the Abbey passed away. Brother David was 92. He was a cheerful man, with the proverbial twinkle in his eye. His funeral Mass is tomorrow. He had life of poverty, chastity, and obedience that he lived well. We should all be as fortunate, not to be monks or nuns, but to be satisfied with the simplest of things. Unplugged, maybe.

I went to bed at Midnight, woke up at Three AM. I tried to go back to sleep. I really did try. But once the wheels start turning inside the old noggin (figuratively, OK?) stopping them is hard.

I went downstairs to deal with the dishwasher,unloading clean, loading dirty. Now I’m waiting for Northbound #98, the Silver Meteor, to pass through Ashland. It is on time. The decaf has been brewed. This is recycle day. I need to get the crap to the curb, for whatever good that does.

Most days, I could just cry. Exhaustion. Outrage at the brutality endemic through humankind.. Sexual frustration. Physical pain. But a train through town brings out the little boy in me. It reminds me that there is adventure to be had.

Later, comrades.

Sexual content. Mature Adults, please.

How’s that for a Headline? Here at Dystopia Central we had issues with both toilets. Flushing involved more than a minimum of aggravation, beyond excessive handle-jiggling and lid removal to gauge progress of tank refill. After careful analysis and consultation with the local hardware store manager, I bought necessary parts, (new valves and gaskets) and replaced them.

J is proud of me. I should inform her that the usual and proper gratuity for minor plumbing repairs is a blow job, the grateful wife on her knees as she lustily fellates her husband in dutiful and submissive appreciation.

Today was OK. I woke up and stayed up for about 3 hours and didn’t need to.

I watched too much television. I realized I have to fix both toilets. Trivial issues and cheap repairs. Still, if I was a plumber, I would be a lot richer than I am today.

J worked while I slept. I woke up, did something, I can’t recall. J came home. We went out for burgers. I went to AA., then swimming, 2500 meters. Happy with my first week in October, 5 times @2500 meters/workout 12500 meters total 7.76 miles.

I am watching the Yankees vs Twins game. At this point I can’t give up on this game. But then again I am not watching football.

That’s all folks.

I love the feeling of being between sleep and wakefulness. In a few minutes after the Northbound Silver Meteor, #98, passes through Ashland, I will go back to bed. I’m looking forward to doing nothing to very little today. It’s the best part of retirement.

A good day today. I finally fell back to sleep after reliving that massage comedy. I did get up. I did go to 9:00 Mass at Our Lady of Bad Acoustics, (Mary Mother of The Church Abbey). I like the priest. He is Ugandan, with an East African accent, that is easily understandable up close, but is a challenge to follow in the cavernous abbey chapel.

After Mass, I returned home, went back to sleep. I slept about two hours. I awoke did some bathroom cleaning, then went swimming, 2500 meters again. Did 10 Kilometers (6+miles) so far this week, with another day to swim.

The weather changed, cool and cloudy, high of 70° F, very pleasant, for a change. I even wore a flannel shirt.

Back to thinking impure thoughts, and getting sleepy. Very impure.

That’s all folks.

I wrote that last entry. Now I feel awkward, not quite ashamed, a little embarrassed that I would even consider doing stuff like that. Threesomes were a topic in a couple of Seinfeld episodes, a source of humour. My unrealised desire seems so childish now.

How did that scene affect my marriage? Were both women too stoned to care, one way or the other? I think women remember everything, as far as sex goes. Maybe I’m wrong about that.