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Dispatches From Dystopia

~ "What man by worrying can add one cubit to his span of years?"

Dispatches From Dystopia

Tag Archives: #Emotional_sobriety #Recovery

Hearing What I Need To Hear

16 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by David in alcoholism

≈ 13 Comments

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#Emotional_sobriety #Recovery

The last two AA meetings I have attended have had emotional sobriety as the topic. Have I been emotionally sober is the question I ask myself. With the feedback from Jade and Jodie in this blog, my blog posts dealing with how I have made myself a victim on the sexual relationship front have shown me that victimhood there doesn’t contribute to my emotional sobriety. Victimhood feeds into the concept of low self-esteem, which was a major contributor to my drinking. Low self-esteem does not contribute to emotional sobriety.

Today’s meeting was a chance to see my friend Fred, who recently lost his wife to Huntington’s Disease (what killed Woody Guthrie). It’s a slow death like ALS. We talked, reconnected. All in all, a great day.

Right now it’s raining. J has a cold, so chicken soup is cooking.

Life is good.

Emotional Sobriety H.A.L.T.

15 Tuesday Oct 2019

Posted by David in alcoholism, Uncategorized

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Tags

#Emotional_sobriety #Recovery

H. Hungry A. Angry L. Lonely. T. Tired

Alcoholics Anonymous is chock full of pithy sayings intended to support persons in recovery from alcoholism. One such saying is HALT, outlined above. I smugly thought that my emotional sobriety was in good shape, until I compared how I felt according to the HALT yardstick.

Hungry. I didn’t let myself get hungry. No I was eating at every chance and weight that I lost was coming back, and I never thought feeding my upset was a sign of emotional dis-ease.

Angry. I thought I was justified in the outright anger around issues I’m powerless over, like politics and the Roman Catholic Church. Add to those the petty resentments that I have toward J about the sexual desert.

Lonely. No sex. Need I say more?

Tired. I would sleep at every chance I get.

Here I was, trudging through life, with one issue after another, never thinking about drinking, but attached to the grievances of life, feeling like I deserved to hold all these resentments. Wrong. They were taking a toll.

In all likelihood, none of these circumstances will suddenly disappear. But you know, I don’t have to let them run my life.

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