So J gets off work. She wants to go out to lunch. She’s paying. What can I say? We go to Longhorn’s. They have a reasonably priced lunch menu. I get grilled chicken sandwich and a Caesar salad . She gets a cheeseburger and a baked potato. She then proceeds to tell me about a movie on TV last night, featuring adultery, jealousy, and murder, the kind of entertainment porn haters don’t mind watching. Go figure.

Meanwhile I sit through this ordeal, wondering if I could distract myself by cutting my hand off with the steak knife.

I want to have sex with this woman? Celibacy isn’t so bad, all things considered.