Last night I dreamt I was selling printing equipment in a strange room where large pieces of equipment kept materialising . Strange cataclysmic events were occurring, like wind and a flood. I was in Richmond in the dream and all these things were happening here. Floods from the James River used to be problematic until a dike ( not that kind ) was constructed The job in the dream felt like a mashup of every suck-y sales job I ever had.

I got a call from the Doctor that my lab values say I have to eliminate carbs, lose weight and double my metformin dosage. No surprise there. So I’m all down for that.

There’s this big empty hole in me. I start singing and talking about odd things There is me that simply wants to come out and fuck my wife without a lot of asking and negotiating. She would wear makeup, perfume and lingerie. She would also talk dirty and suck my cock and not worry about bullshit. We could live in the moment and stop looking at Senior Living gulags, writing advance medical directives and planning our funerals.

I could leave… but I won’t.

I’m sitting here watching Gutfeld!, waiting for J to get off work.

Fox uses the same news filler insert about the Ukrainian blood bath at the 30 minute break as it did at the start of the show.

This guided tour of Bedlam continues. We never cease our amazement and amusement over the antics. of the mad. What was 2020’s disinformation has now been authenticated by The Grey Lady. aka The New York Times. The Biden laptop story is now being recycled, the way we reuse the plastic take away dinnerware from Cracker Barrel. So Hunter Biden really is the train wreck depicted in the laptop

I took a nap in hopes it would morph into full blown sleep. No luck. This explains why I’m now watching Gutfeld!. Gutfeld can make us laugh at what’s happening, by taking our focus off Ukraine, if only for an hour.

The spectacle of American material wealth amid American spiritual emptiness is the great takeaway from twenty-first century television. In case you were wondering what can lift your spirits during War and after Plague, it’s more stuff, an electric vehicle, a tropical vacation (with or without a zip line), Botox, a new contraceptive. This is the Stuff Cycle of 2022. We have to wait for the next Christmas season to see what will cure us in 2023. Forty years ago, Jordache Jeans and a Sony Walkman were supposed to satisfy us. And now, aTesla and a trip to Jamaica will be the panacea.

Poverty and Chastity never looked so good, but then that pesky Obedience vow creeps in. And that tells me the purpose of my life can’t be self-gratification. Whatever you do, don’t let God spoil your fun.

I’m sitting on the front porch, drinking an iced coffee. Tobey the Pit Bull came by for Newman’s Own Peanut Butter Dog Treats. He is twelve now, as cute as only a dog can be. He moves toward my house(and the treats) whenever I’m on the porch. Yes, it is priceless.

I’m reading an anthology Best Lesbian Love Stories 2005. The authors write good stories. Since I’m a cis heterosexual male, I can say with some authority that these stories are readily approachable to all iterations of human being who read them. Good writers can do that, build bridges, without being obvious, sanctimonious, or supercilious. It’s amazing what you can hear, if you’re willing to listen.

I see clouds rolling in. I guess it will rain tomorrow.

It feels like Small Town USA out here today. All who’s missing are Robert Preston and Shirley Jones.

Later Folks.

That phrase comes from Washington’ s Farewell Address, wherein he famously admonishes the young nation to avoid the political entanglements of Europe. At that time, the key players in rivalries and wars were England, France, and Spain. His words were a guiding maxim in American diplomacy until 1917, when America entered the Great War on the side of Great Britain, France, Italy and, for a while, Russia.

The experience of the war reaffirmed the wisdom of Washington’s advice. A period of isolationism followed, exacerbating the ascent of Fascist and Communist states. Another world war would make America and Soviet Russia the world’s so-called superpowers, with nuclear bombs and missiles in their respective arsenals. The world teetered on the brink of nuclear Holocaust until The Soviet Union collapsed, ending The Cold War. The United States, the United Kingdom, France and the Soviet Union fought proxy wars in Asia, (Korea, Malaya, and Vietnam), Africa, ( The Congo, Angola, Southern Rhodesia, and Mozambique), and Central America (Guatemala, Nicaragua).

The collapse of the Soviet Union and its client states in Eastern Europe redrew the map of Europe. One of the new nations to emerge was Ukraine, long a part of Czarist Russia, then the Soviet Union. Ukraine had nationalist aspirations that sparked a brief war in the Bolshevik Civil War era.

Independence sentiment in Ukraine caused Stalin to use famine to kill off millions of Kulaks, Ukrainian small farmers, who resisted collectivisation in the 1930’s. Many Ukrainians sided with the Germans during WW Two and participated in the Nazi genocide against Ukrainian Jewry. Calling Ukrainian/ Russian rivalry a long, tragic and brutal history scarcely scratches the surface of their past.

So we come to the present. Both nations are beset by corrupt oligarchs Both sides have a habit of jailing or murdering domestic opposition figures. What we do not have is a White Hat vs. Black Hat, Wild West melodrama. Of course, Ukraine has a right to its sovereignty and independence, but how much American blood need be spilled in an ultimately futile effort?

What is incumbent on the United States and NATO is avoiding entanglement in what is arguably a civil war, given the centuries old bond between the two nations. A century ago, we barely noticed the war between the respective nations or regions. Satellite technology and the so-called “news cycle” make remote feuds immediate problems to us.

Consider this. In the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, large numbers of Poles, Jews. Ukrainians, Hungarians, Lithuanians, and other groups emigrated to the United States to escape the long standing persecutions of the old regimes and empires of Central and Eastern Europe. Old animosities die hard.

This is the classic foreign entanglement Washington warned us about It will not turn out well for the U.S of A, NATO or the two belligerent powers. Sadly we have become too conditioned to bloody and pointless wars, where tenuous claims of US national interest and a threat to “freedom” are made to perpetuate the folly of the bipartisan War State, festering in Washington. We should know better, by now.

• I want to spend money to validate my own self-worth.
• I imagine owning certain things to fulfil a fantasy. Specifically I fancy a Staffordshire Pottery Brown Betty teapot to fully savour a cup of tea.
• Situations have to be “just right” in order for any particular effort to succeed.
• I “need” my Smartphone to stay connected to the “world”, i.e. the culture in which I live.
• I couldn’t possibly be enslaved to the surrounding and omnipresent technology.
• This technology is omnipotent because I surrender my power and freedom to it.
• The gains of modern technology validate the loss of freedom to it.
• Why am I making this list at 2:00 AM?

The pressure we put on ourselves for just being ourselves is overwhelming. “I should be improving myself, writing that first novel, reconnecting with a long forgotten lover, et cetera”.

Crazy . And I’ll bet we all play this mental scene . Right now, as I write this, The ICC Women’s World Cup is on and the Pakistani Women are celebrating taking wickets as enthusiastically as any group of  cricketers would. In this moment ,there is neither sex, gender, race, religion, just the joyous enthusiasm of sport. Damn, we need this. We need this Southern Hemisphere Summer, free from the Winter of Ukraine, the desperate refugees, the burning hulls of tanks.

This multitasking is wearing thin.J is upstairs waiting for me. I’m tiring of tapping letters on a tablet, as typos cascade onto the screen. That’s enough for now.

youtube.com/watch

On a recent surf through YouTube, I discovered this virtuoso of the button accordion and her ensemble. Please give this group a listen.

J, my wife, as a little girl, took accordion lessons, and even owned an accordion, until she donated it to a Church jumble sale. She is profoundly embarrassed to admit she has any familiarity with the accordion at all. She feels a sense of shame.

Recently C , my #2 son, had an issue with what we in America call Number 2. That’s a euphemism for moving one’s bowels. This had gone beyond simple constipation and necessitated a physical intervention. Once again he felt embarrassment even talking about it.

(Note: he’s fine now)

I find it interesting how we all have a sense of embarrassment, peculiar only to each individual. Lurking around the kink and sex world, some people are proud of a sexual taste or preference, others feel shame about.

Conceivably, a person could boast about an affinity for anal intercourse, but feel shame about accordion lessons in their distant past.

Porngirl, is a professional at colon hydrotherapy, a necessary service, as we’ve recently discovered. And yet… it’s a little awkward to talk about as either a provider or a client.

Then again, some of us are embarrassed to proclaim our love of disco 🕺!

Turn your backyard gas grill into a crematorium with this handy accessory. Avoid price-y mortuary rip-offs!

If one watches any television, one can’t help but notice commercials. The commercials for prescription drugs are quite compelling. Even if the drug is for a horrific disease, the commercial depicts an almost utopian world. People are smiling, doing fun things, and look pretty damn healthy

“Don’t you wish you had Stage Four small cell carcinoma of the lung?”

Early Monday morning and the world seems broken.

I’m tired and I hurt emotionally and physically

Once again I will try to sleep.