Author Archives: David

Reminders

15 Monday May 2017

Posted by in Love and stuff, Sexuality

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We all need reminders that life on this Earth is worth living.  For example, at Mass, I’ll frequently get a better idea of what Love is by watching the children with their parents than by listening to the homily.  Any priest worth his salt would probably agree.

The best reminders are usually commonplace,  A beautiful sunset, singing birds, a well-played baseball game, dessert.  In the Reminders Class is sex.   It is how I connect and relate.  If or when that physical relationship with our Lovers diminishes or disappears,  the loss is agonizing.  I caressed Mrs CorC?’s thigh the other night as we lay together in bed.   She rebuffed the gesture, but emphatically stated “I love you!”  I have been living with the sting since that moment.   Truth be told, she doesn’t “do” love “that way”, through expressions of physical affection.  In the wake of each rejection, a quest for validation, joy, and fun begins.  I’m a master at sublimation; a long swim, a good meal, a beautiful novel.   A Rosary, quietly prayed, opens another channel for Love to come in.   So deep night finds me alone with the beads.

I read of husbands and wives who keep the flame of sexual love alive. You give hope to me.

Further Down The Road

12 Friday May 2017

Posted by in Love and stuff, sleep

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What prompted the increased vigor toward getting rid of stuff is the spectre of my YMCA dues being drafted from my checking account sometime around Monday. If I can sell enough books to cover the dues, that would be great. I’m about 20% there already.  It’s a fun game.  

Sleep? I’m pro-sleep. And yet….

It comes hard. Sleep. I wake up at night from the discomfort of being in one position, am awake for an hour or so.  Last night, at 3:00 AM, I watched a re-broadcast of a Big 10  Women’s Softball Tournament Game.(Note: There are more than ten universities in the Big Ten,  but the Big However Many Colleges Are In The Conference This Year is a bit unwieldy.)  In my senescence, I’m watching more baseball and softball, with a greater appreciation for the games than I’ve ever had before in my life.  I finally got sleepy again, around 4:00 AM and slept til 7:00 AM.  This is all an aftermath of the back surgery.

In this room straightening and book culling, I’ve found several tubes of lubricant, intended for use in sexual activities, all unopened. Add the Magic Wand Vibrator to the lube tubes and you get the idea how bleak my life my love life is. 

Working Title: Catching Up

11 Thursday May 2017

Posted by in Relationships, Sexuality

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So it’s been a while since I put my actual thoughts, feelings and activities into the blog. I’ve thought about a lot of things I would like to say, from a bucket list of my deeper desires, to thoughts about our narcissistic culture, to my latest endeavors around getting our house free of junk.  Through it all I’ve read y’all’s blogs and am grateful I don’t have to face the problems some of you are experiencing, and am jealous of the FUN some of you all are having.

Let’s start with the conundrum that is sex.  Some people look at sex as a struggle between procreation and pleasure, that the experience of any kind sexual pleasure is ipso facto  a perversion.  The sole legitimate purpose of sex from that perspective is procreation, bringing another human being into the world.  Well, we all know that that is  quite the yoke to place around a person’s neck.  On the other hand to devalue procreative sex is to deny our humanity.  We need to nurture, both men and women.   There is, I think a middle ground, a via media.  Sex is about intimacy.  From that intimacy springs both ecstatic pleasure and new life. There is dissent from my position.  I get that, but I’m not here to argue.  I respect all perspectives on sex.

Next: THE HOUSE.   This place is chock full of crap, Mrs CorC’s old client files, books I probably won’t read, clothes I won’t wear, tchotchkes collecting dust.  I’ve written about it before and letting go of it is hard. It is the wasted energy of my life made both tangible and burdensome.  The latest strategy involves my working on one room at a time. My bedroom/ man cave is getting attention. I just discovered that an affiliate of Books A Million, 2nd & Charles,  buys used books and am selling some of my stuff to them.  Thank God. They evaluate up to three boxes of books a day and make an offer on the books they think they can sell.  The real value lies in getting the books out of the house; the books they don’t take can go directly to the Goodwill Donation Center situated across the street.

Speaking of which, time to load my three daily boxes and get going.

Later.

3250 Meters Swimming

22 Saturday Apr 2017

Posted by in Exercise/ Fitness, food, Sport

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Uh, fascinating. Really? I had last done 2+ miles four weeks ago. It feels great, that sweet exercise high that beats the pants off dope or booze.

I was busy trying to talk myself out of working out today or taking it easy.  But once in the water and moving, all the negative self-talk disappeared.  I actually felt my mind relax, focusing on the laps.

Last week I swam 10,000 meters and to repeat last week’s totals, I needed the 3250 meter distance today. And it really wasn’t hard. I finished, actually lost count of the laps swum. 3250 Meters is 65 laps in a 25-meter pool or 130 lengths. Putting my brain on auto-pilot and just being mindful of my surgical sites (lumbar spine and right shoulder) was my emphasis.

Mrs CorC? and I went to one of our favorite unpretentious restaurants, with good entrees, costing not too much.  I had a blackened rockfish Caesar salad. She had crabcake sliders with sweet potato waffle fries. 

Richmond is a restaurant town. There are lots of start-ups with new concepts. I can tell you that Bruce Springsteen goes to Mama Zu’s on Oregon Hill when he is in town. It’s owned by a buddy of his.

Now FIOS is bringing me a baseball game, Washington Nationals at the Mets. Good game in extra innings. I am at the point where I don’t care who wins. I just want it to be over. My son mentioned to me tonight that the real value of sport is that it is inconsequential. True that.

Wednesday.

20 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by in Uncategorized

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The dryer vent cleaning guy came today. He pulled some of the accumulated lint out of the exhaust port. Kind of cool. The exhaust port is on the roof.

And I went swimming. 

I don’t think I’m much of a sunbeam for Jesus today.

“Tomorrow is another day,”- Scarlett O’Hara.

Tuesday: Random Thoughts

19 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by in cooking, Depression, Exercise/ Fitness, Sport

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Last month, we ponied up the money to get FIOS.  So far, I am happy with it for both the internet speeds and the television package. My new favorite sport is Women’s College Softball. The women are great athletes and competitors and the game is very interesting and fun to watch. It’s worth the cost of FIOS to watch these athletes. 

I did some house cleaning, floor mopping, tub-scrubbing, deep-down cleaning. I worked up a good sweat and had a generally fun time. 

I fixed some salmon steaks for dinner. Used the convection oven  feature. Nice fish. I went with the wild sockeye salmon rather than the farm-raised kind.

It was a good day that included a 2500 meter swim. Life is good. 

When I do positive things, I feel positively about the state of the world. It’s not as if there are no problems and concerns.  Rather, I feel that there isn’t an issue that can’t be resolved. Enemies? None that I’m aware of.

Treading Water

15 Saturday Apr 2017

Posted by in Catholic Life, cooking, Exercise/ Fitness, Family

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Well, not literally.  As water goes, I’ve been swimming fairly consistently.  I have swum for the last four days, 2500 meters each day, a total of a little over six miles.  The opportunity to exercise is the best aspect of retirement for me.  I would have made a marvelous English gentleman of La Belle Epoque .  They made an art of not working, a worthy avocation if there ever was one.

I have a fruit salad to make this morning to bring to my Thomistic Philosophy discussion group at Church.  Bananas, pineapple, strawberries, and maybe a pear or two, should make a tasty treat.  I’m so tempted to say “Eff-it!” and go buy some donuts, but this is the wiser course of action.

Mrs CorC? and I will attend the Easter Vigil Mass.  It has a quiet dignity that is quite compelling.  Maybe, if we are lucky, the choir will chant the Litany of Loretto, in Latin. Tomorrow we will go to brunch at the local Maggiano’s. We have gotten out of the habit of elaborate family get-togethers at Easter and Christmas because my sister, a church musician, has a pretty demanding schedule.

My dream is to have the family here.  That would require that we get the house presentable. Mrs CorC? has given no indication that this is a priority for her.  To be quite frank, I consider her reticence a lack of interest in my family and my needs. And I am hurt.  Communicating my needs is a fruitless activity, I’ve learned.

My needs.  Every damn day, I long for affection, sexual intimacy, a little politically incorrect banter.  However, I have the relationship/marriage that I have.  Any change will have to spring from both her and my own personal transformation.  Dammit.