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Dispatches From Dystopia

~ "What man by worrying can add one cubit to his span of years?"

Dispatches From Dystopia

Monthly Archives: January 2020

Generally Speaking

08 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Every time I see “The Truth About…” in the subject line of an email, I know it is some sort of con job.

Expectations. The Update

07 Tuesday Jan 2020

Posted by David in alcoholism, recovery

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Tags

cooking

I watched a video about a mobile home for sale on a lot somewhere in Alabama or Mississippi or some other el primo mobile home state. For almost an hour I tbought about buying a mobile home. An hour. Almost. It would mean I (we) would have to move out to the country, out there in an area where tornadoes go prowling for innocent trailers. Forget that. Maybe I could write lyrics for country music songs if I lived in one.

I did not swim.

I did take a nap.

I fixed my Waldorf chicken salad for J’s lunch tomorrow.

I did two loads of laundry.

So I feel better. I did stuff that needed to be done that wasn’t particularly grandiose. There is hope.

In an unrelated observation, England’s Ben Stokes is a great batsman.

Today’s Topic: Expectations

06 Monday Jan 2020

Posted by David in alcoholism

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#Expectations, #Self-esteem.

AA at noon had “Expectations” for a topic. My whole life is about unmet expectations I place upon my marriage and, most acutely and painfully, the expectations I set for myself. There are things I say I should do and then don’t do, from praying The Rosary to swimming every day, starting that story I have in my head to doing Weight Watchers again.

Reaffirming the tapes of self-hatred I have in my head and keeping my sense of grandiosity inflated seem to be constants in my life. Self-care is hard for me, even after 25 years of sobriety. Those of us who have alcohol and addiction issues learn quickly about low self-esteem and the steps we take to hide it.

I will go swimming today.

I will take a nap.

I will not eat the cookies I bought for J.

Little affirmations. It is the best I can do most days.

Thank you all who read and like and comment on my blog. It means a lot.

Sunday, Soup, Sadness

05 Sunday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

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We went to Mass Saturday Evening. There were cute children in front of us. I was happy watching the children. I think there was a homily.

So I got to sleep late today. And I did.

I finished a pot of soup. Turned out well. I will share with Dorothy.

And I’m just plain sad. Maybe I will go to bed early.

Sex. Thinking about sex. Expressed my need to J. She acted guilty that she is sexually unavailable.

So anyway. It was a Sunday. A pretty day here.

The pain of it all.

Saturdays, The Met, Richard Strauss

04 Saturday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

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I am lying in bed, coping w low back pain. The Metropolitan Opera broadcast today is Der Rosenkavalier by Richard Strauss, one of my favorites. I’m listening, not caring a whit that my German isn’t good enough to follow the libretto.

Nothing profound folks. Just letting Strauss carry my imagination away.

New Year’s Resolutions.

03 Friday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

I’m not entering any more passwords

I’m plugging in my rotary dial telephone.

I will no longer shop on Sunday.

I will shine my shoes every day.

That’s it for now,

And Now For Something Different

02 Thursday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

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Tonight, we avoid the rocky shoals of paranoia, and find clear sailing through the Gulf of Sports.

I saw in my newsfeed where the Washington Redskins hired the former coach of the Carolina Panthers to coach the team next year. It is another “usual suspects” hiring. I wish Coach Rivera well. The larger questions are “Will there be football in 2030? And, if yes, who will play and coach the game, humans or robots and supercomputers?

Given the physical punishment to the body, especially head trauma, will fewer and fewer parents want their children to play football? Will the appeal of robotics introduce itself into the sport, as AI, robotics, virtual reality, and computer gaming make more inroads into our habits of leisure.

Look for remote controlled drones playing certain positions. A drone pass receiver could have pass patterns programmed into it. Consider that.

I think these are the last days of football played by humans. The machines are coming.

Paranoia Is No Fun

02 Thursday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

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My brother was paranoid about what the government, any government, local, national, or foreign,could or might do. He had his reasons and for six years, he was a spook in one of The Navy’s spook departments.

Paranoid stories begin to take on a life of their own. When I begin to dismiss a paranoid thought, e.g, my post President Pelosi, the contingent factors broaden. What foreign power could the domestic perpetrators blame the assassination on? The ripples ever broaden across the pond.

What one has to understand is that this government, ruled by laws, works only to the extent that its citizenry, including the political, military and civil service establishments, are willing to follow the rule of law. It’s that simple.

If bad actors within a government want to subvert or ignore popular will, very little can stop them. Brexit is an excellent example.

President Pelosi

02 Thursday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

If anyone thinks the Democrats and their allies are going to let Donald Trump be re-elected, they are incredibly naïve.

The impeachment will fail. Trump will be acquitted. What is left? Assassination of both Trump and Vice President Pence. Pence will be poisoned to give the appearance he died of natural causes. Trump will be violently assassinated by one of the hired killers to whom John Brennan, former CIA Director, has access.

That makes Nancy Pelosi President. She will use the tools of control already available to imprison or otherwise neutralize potential opponents. The Never Trumpers will be bought off with a Mitt Romney appointment as the  new Vice President. The ability of supercomputer surveillance of the population will be made fully evident. The Social Security system will be weaponized to suppress dissent. Disagree? Lose your Social Security. Marijuana and other recreational drugs will be legalized by Executive Order. They will serve as a valuable tool in social control. The drug gangs will suddenly have legitimacy.

The Supreme Court will be imprisoned under the pretense of a national emergency.

Firearms will be shown to be useless in playing a part in resistance. The new Civil War will be a cyber war.

The National Emergency Charade will eliminate dissent. A civil service bureaucracy will reward Democratic Party members.

Who needs an electoral victory in November? We could lose this free Republic in a matter of weeks. Paranoid? Yeah.

Octave Of Christmas

02 Thursday Jan 2020

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Octave Of Christmas

This is the 8th day of the Octave of Christmas. So there is a Solemn High Mass, honoring The Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of Our Lord.

I went to Mass this morning. It was a Christmas celebration for those who missed the first one or just wanted a reprise. There was incense, lovely fragrant incense, and Latin chants of the sung portions of the Mass, Kyrie, Gloria, Credo, Sanctus, et. al. And the church is A sanctuary for beauty, stained glass windows, marble statuary, frescoes, and terrazo work. I need this beauty. From it, I regain a modicum of sanity and serenity.

No, I don’t want to argue about the Truth of Catholicism, the corruption within the Church, both financial and sexual, or Her policy positions on a myriad of subjects. There is the time when I need the serenity and the peace. I don’t think I am alone.

St Benedict, the Apse and Sanctuary.

The five saints are Augustine, Gregory, Benedict, Jerome, and Ambrose. the figures in relief are the Apostles present at The Last Supper, plus Judas Iscariot (not in my picture).

Our current priest doesn’t celebrate the Mass, ad orientam. Hence the low altar is used.

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