Down to One Car

One of the blessings of my disability is that I have been home most days and not driving. Thank God. This morning, I helped out a friend who doesn’t have a vehicle get to work. That meant I had to drive during rush hour. I saw what I was missing and I realized how lucky I am.
Anybody who criticizes conformity too stridently doesn’t take into account that conformity is what makes driving a viable means of getting places. We all agree to conform to the rules of the road. Being a unique driver isn’t particularly valuable.

Random Thoughts

Tags

I love writing poetry.
I love the voice and vocal style of Portuguese Fado artist Mariza.
I wish cigars were good for you.
I like the Marian anthems and antiphons of medieval composer Hermanus Contractus.
I would have loved to have met Josephine Baker, Gertrude Stein, Sylvia Beach and Adrienne Monnier.
I have a special devotion to St Therese of Lisieux.
Money ruins sports in particular.
The most profound quote I draw upon day by day is from Richard Feynman’s first wife, Arline, “What do you care what other people think?”

Image

Tiffany Stained Glass

I visited Richmond’s Virginia Museum of Fine Arts yesterday and came upon this magnificent Tiffany Stained Glass Triptych, taken from the old All Saints Episcopal Church. It had been stored in a basement somewhere until the museum purchased it, and put it on display. Truly a lovely piece.image

Mango

Tags

Mango is mystery

Held in hand

Ovoid

Gravid

Solid

Dark green deep red variegated pigmented leathery fructis skin,

that the shiny peeler flays

to offer spicy mango smell, redolent in its yellow-orange flesh.

Knife in longitudinal laceration seeks that nonconforming seed

Unlike cross-cut five-point apple constellation

or

Spherical perfection in cherry stones.

Mango bears its enigmatic lozenge of life.

 

LGBTQ Literature?

Tags

I just read a novel, Nightwood by Djuna Barnes. I cannot be too enthusiastic in praising this book. There is a powerful prose rhythm in Barnes’ writing. It is a compelling story, a telling, from one perspective, of a dysfunctional relationship. The facts from which the fiction derives is Barnes’ love affair with the artist Thelma Wood. The relationship was characterized by alcoholism, sexual infidelity, and abandonment. Wood would disappear for days at a time, only to return with no explanation for her absence. While Barnes was lesbian, Wood was bisexual,but with a preference for women.

That the characters are lesbian is what, I suppose, makes this a “lesbian” novel. But wait. If I can read this book, empathize with the plight and pain of Nora  (Barnes’ character in the story), and identify with this recounting  of human experience, just how “lesbian” is it? It isn’t written in lesbian secret code, if there is any such thing.  That phenomenon of human experience makes it possible for people of varying backgrounds to understand and relate to each other, if they make the effort. I had a similar experience reading  Samuel Steward’s Parisian Lives, an openly gay book about homosexual life in Paris in the thirties and forties.  Again, here I am relating to these men, liking them, hoping they will find something akin to happiness.

If I qualify and select literature on the basis of descriptors, what a narrow world I would be living in. Gerard Manley Hopkins was a Jesuit priest. If I didn’t care much for Catholics, not reading him would be my great loss. And so it goes for so many writers.

Two Words

Tags

There are two words when used together can strike fear in the heart of any aspiring cook. Those two words are “Pie Crust”. I had made crusts before and I have always found their preparation to be a daunting experience. My concern is that I will work the dough too much and the crust will be rubbery. This particular crust from The Joy of Cooking is a pate’ brisee, formulated to work with a quiche Lorraine, my dinner choice for last Thursday night. The recipe calls that I work flour into a chilled stick of butter and 3 tablespoons of lard, add water til a dough forms and let it rest chilled for 2 hours. All went well, until I started rolling out the chilled dough. Then my life became filled with questioning and self-doubt. Am I handling it too much? Bearing in mind that the chilled dough is only slightly more pliant than a radial tire, I begin rolling away ever so carefully with the rolling pin. It seemed to be getting thinner and thinner and pretty soon it fit inside the pie plate.  It looks like I am good to go. I put in the bacon, then the cheese, and finally the milk/cream-egg mixture.   Into the oven it goes and pretty soon, Bob’s your Uncle, a lovely quiche all golden brown, is ready for our enjoyment. It turned out quite tasty. Now here’s the irony. The yummy, custard-like, cheesy quiche more than concealed whatever shortcomings the crust may have had. It was certainly flaky, if you scraped off the filling to savor the crust. Then again, only a nosy mother-in-law of a newly-wed bride from a Fifties sitcom would be so anal as to do that.

Pie Crust Verdict: Pass.

Confession

Tags

Some of you may wonder about the title of this blog  Celibate or Chaste?. It refers to the fact that my marriage has been without a sexual component for nearly 13 years. Crazy. During this time, my adult son moved back in with us for 2 years; my younger son finished high school;  we have lost parents and other dear family members; I’ve undergone 2 major orthopedic surgeries; she has had lithotripsy for kidney stones; I’ve celebrated 21 years of sobriety. We both entered the Roman Catholic Church. In other words, life went by us.

What I have been is a sneaky little bastard who never quite got the knack of communicating how and what I feel to the person who loves me the most. Until today. I told her about my sexual frustration. The miracle of this communication breakthrough was finding a context for communication that 1) would not blame her and 2) show a correlation between my frustration and my behavior.  That miracle occurred earlier this week.  I looked at a Facebook post that I found insulting and went ballistic. The angry part of my personality is an aspect she is more than familiar with and quite frightened by. So when I said to myself, “This anger is your sexual frustration that you have repressed all these years.”,  I knew I had an opening and a context.

This morning, I shared this rather large nugget about me with her. And a world opened up.  She put her head on my shoulder and just rested a bit. That felt great.

Now I know life and our marriage will not become rainbows, lollipops, puppies and balloons by this. It might not turn into a passionate nonstop sex romp, but I won’t rule it out. But it is out there, the truth. One good part is, I don’t have to get angry at total strangers or FB nonsense to express my frustration. That frustration’s grip over me has also disappeared. For now at least.

I have used this blog to share who I am with you wonderful people. I have read your stories. In some respects, we are different, but at our cores we are all human. Thanks guys.

The Community of Soup

Tags

Tuesday, here in Richmond, we had a cold snap.  We were all settled in and excited about Spring; birds singing, flowers blooming, the smell of freshly cut grass in the air. Then Mom Nature offered her two cents about our vernal reverie. It got cold again and once more it was Soup Weather.

With an early Easter, I still had a recipe that I had meant to use during Lent but had not had an opportunity to fix. It was for Manhattan style clam chowder, the tomato-based type. Since Mrs CelibateorChaste? is lactose intolerant, she doesn’t enjoy the milk-base New England style. I am Bisoupual , can go both ways, and went Manhattan style for her. I had downloaded a pretty good recipe from the Betty Crocker website and started the prep.  Nothing goes exactly to plan when I cook, and by the time I finished the preparation, I had doubled the recipe. My trip to the store for missing ingredients yielded the fresh parsley which made the chowder.

Chowder simmering away, I took my walk. Upon finishing the walk, I covered the azaleas to protect them from the freeze. I was all settled in when Mrs CorC? came home from work.  We both enjoyed a fine and simple mid-week supper, more than compensating for the inconvenience of the untimely cold spell.

In the making of soup, stew or chowder, bountiful leftovers are a given.  Here is where the community piece comes in. Soup is meant to be shared!  Running down my list of likely beneficiaries, I decided my stepmother Dorothy would be the recipient. She is 90, and in no way feeble, but she has lived alone since Daddy died  in 2011. So when I dropped by the next day to take her to the YMCA  for her exercise class,  I brought the soup.  I felt good sharing it. I hope she liked it.  Simple Gifts.