At 2:22 AM, I woke up. I could say my heart was heavy but that’s more of a figure of speech than an actual physical sensation. What is more real is the sense of sadness and the burning in my eyes. I want to cry but can’t. Perhaps won’t is the more accurate word.

J opened an Alumni mailing  from her college and learned of her ex- husband’s death. She had not heard anything from or about him for over thirty years until this notice. She  shared a life with him and then she didn’t. I remember my own experience with ex-wife #2.I learned she was dying six weeks before she passed away. We did have a son together, so that link endures. J and B had no childrrn.

But that whole situation brings up the brokenness of the world. I brought that to Our Lady this morning as I prayed  The Rosary.  All I can do is carry my pain to Blessed Mary and share my hurt. I can pray for healing.  I go to You Tube and pray the Rosary with the priests at Lourdes. Don’t ask me why.

When I finished The Rosary, I turned to watch a freight train pass through Ashland on another YT channel. I find the trains oddly comforting, the noise and the rhythm of the cars moving on the tracks. A coal train just passed through. So much for the the facade of green energy policy. That coal will be burned somewhere in the world, John  Kerry be damned

I’m tired now and lonely. I will go back upstairs. And I will sleep beside my wife on this last morning of March, the calends as the Romans called it.