I am awake. I slept three hours. I saw my psychiatrist on Monday, told him I was doing really well, and, for that moment, that was the truth.

Now, I’m not so sure. I have been awake about ninety minutes. I have some body pain. I want to cry. J is asleep. I am watching a Russian who does videos on YouTube, Marina Morlock. She is a chatterbox, but she smiles a lot. And wears red lipstick. What’s not to love? She sounds like Natasha from the old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons.

Right now she is showing us Russian women’s underwear, modeling as best she can while holding her Smartphone. Her camerawork is dizzying, at times

Changing the subject, l should have been a plumber. Everybody told me I was smart and should go to college, which I did. My advice to everyone, learn a trade. Forget college.