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Dispatches From Dystopia

~ "What man by worrying can add one cubit to his span of years?"

Dispatches From Dystopia

Monthly Archives: July 2019

A Wistful Rant

13 Saturday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Amtrak, Railroads

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#Poetry, #Sexual Imagery

For My Lover

Here it comes, the fish in the visual net.

I have waited for you.

I see by the sleeping cars in the rear that you are 92 The Silver Star, from Florida, bound for New York City.

Your trip ends at the travesty that’s called Penn Station.

Its shattered and pillaged predecessor was broken and carted away to a marsh in New Jersey. Now modernity squats over Mr. Cassat’s subterranean tracks, function surviving, beauty cast aside.

But you, indifferent 92, glide along, bearing the grandchildren of the warriors, now dreaming their own dream of America, their loved ones at the journey’s end, a meal perhaps with familiar talk of plans for Sunday.

Museum? Brunch? Flea Market? Television? Golf?

There could be love tonight, what the coarse, but accurate, would call a fuck.

Elysium, for some, and others a chore, with the wish, under the breath, that the visitor would simply roll off, sleep, then get back on the train.

Later This Saturday.

13 Saturday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

The bed was nice, but I got out of bed and showered, shampooed my hair, shaved the parts of my face and neck where I don’t want hair.

I looked at enough video porn to know that this is not what I want to watch, soul-less cartoon copulators, who have sex devoid of any real intimacy. I’m going to say that porn is popular because it epitomizes our culture. We may love it or hate it but it is the reflection in the mirror. Those who hate porn are so hungry for the love it mocks.

Now I’m trainspotting, still in the daze I felt when I awoke. I just saw the bicycling crossdresser pedal by. Now a bunch of SUV’s all seem to be looking for parking places simultaneously.

Earlier this morning, I was watching some Russian Orthodox Liturgy, mostly a lot of singing. That’s what I want. Choirs are at the heart of Russia, as they are in Wales, and much of Africa. American choirs are hit or miss.

J is at work. And I miss her.

I’m sleepy again, but I made the bed.

Bed

13 Saturday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

There are times when lying in bed is sheer Heaven. The mattress and my body are not fighting. Comfort reigns. Sleep happens naturally. The mind has been bested by the moment.

So it is this morning.

Epstein Island. Eden?

13 Saturday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#J Epstein, #Keith Raniere, #NXIVM

Anybody else out there remember an Anne Rice (writing as Anne Rampling) kinky book Exit To Eden? When the Epstein Island (Orgy Island) stories emerged, whenever that was, I noticed the coincidence. One fictional, one possibly a factual kink island. Rice’s book was published in 1985. It is in the vein of the Sleeping Beauty books, high class kinky porn, well-written that engages the reader. It’s in the Read At The Beach category of books. Not a bad book, if porn doesn’t gross you out.

So in 1998, rich guy Jeffrey Epstein buys Little St James Island in the US Virgin Islands, does some construction and landscaping and then, Bob’s your uncle, it’s nicknamed Orgy Island. We got your life imitating art going on here.

Now Epstein is busted, alleged to be a world class pervert, tarnishing the reputations of law-abiding perverts who play with consenting adults, use safe words, etc.

I guess I wouldn’t have mentioned it, were it not for the fact that he is in the news. His arrest follows in the wake of the NXIVM “cult” convictions..That group was run by an even creepier guy than Epstein, Keith Raniere. I don’t know if that specimen has been sentenced yet, but he should be on ice for a while.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to find out that there are people out there who really want to hurt people and exploit the weak, but there are.

These stories are going to be around for a while, as their threads unravel. If you are like me, you are wishing you could un-see them already,

Attitude

12 Friday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

I was thinking how my attitude sucked. It still sucks. I don’t want to do much. I’m getting a couple of small fillings tomorrow and a crown re-cemented. My dental issues are negligible. My teeth are healthy now that we dealt with the issues of #18 and #31. I don’t know if we will do implants where the old teeth were.

I was re-reading a favorite lesbian erotic novel Behrouz Gets Lucky by Avery Cassell (Cleis 2016). Cassell is a good storyteller, with detail to setting the scene, citing the smells of sandalwood soap and foods, the colours and textures of fabrics. She wakes me up, as it were.

I’m watching Martin Zero on YouTube walk about Manchester, England. Reminds me of Richmond in the older areas, lots of brick and granite work. He loves his city. I’m inspired to walk about Richmond. I used to walk about Richmond when my mentor and Second Father Bill R was alive. He loved to go exploring, much the same way Martin and Nicola White, of Tideline Art go exploring. Nicola is a “mudlark”, pulling little treasures out of the Thames mud at low tide.

Mostly my sexual desire has been on the same simmer for what seems like twelve years. J is perpetually tired, or has one complaint or another. I feel defeated, neglected. I say all kinds of off-the-wall stuff, just to say stuff, which kind of embellishes my reputation as an eccentric.

So after the dentist tomorrow, I’m putting out Dave version 68.2. Time to get out of this funk.

Gotta do some laundry.

The University In The Information Age

11 Thursday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Politics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

#Universities, freedom

Do people still call our current time by this pompous name? Putting a binary coding (not binary that way, different rant) on all that can be seen, heard and recorded gives you information, of sorts. I’m not deriding that classification and organisation of the world. But it requires people who need the world organized in such a way. Suppose you have no need of a binary universe, like a Kalahari bushman, or a Mongolian goat herder? But with the ever expanding digitized universe comes control and power. It follows that autonomy from the digital world creates gaps in the control of the digital masters. Now I’m neither a Luddite nor do I advocate an unrealistic primitivism, but what institutions exist to counterbalance the tech giants? These businesses appear motivated at their core by money and the evermore sinister megalomania of their founders, owners, and top executives.

I’m not really interested in giving the tech plutocrats any more power than they have already. But with every election, this is taking place. High technology tycoons have ready partners with politicians, also blatantly hungry for power. They also have ready accomplices with the officials of the university establishments, both public or private (with a few exceptions). The modern university’s need for ever more money makes the university little more than a satrapy, the academic bureaucrats and professors, the vassals, of the government agencies(through grants), tech companies,and individuals who give them money. The legislature, through its appropriations has devolved into merely another funder. President Ryan, at the University of Virginia, recently unveiled plans for a digital, information science college. Directly, it will produce more qualified workers for the technology field. It will also produce yet another dependent class of workers, perhaps more affluent and better educated than a nineteenth century millhand, but still carrying the risk of being dependent on the fortunes, whims and vicissitudes of an industry. The textile manufacturers of the past or high tech digital industries of the present day suggest merely a distinction with no difference.

Thomas Jefferson is being vilified these days because he owned slaves. His position around slavery is more complex than what his detractors suggest. I suspect the real reason he is “ungood”, in Newspeak terms, goes beyond his slaveholding, but in his social and economic vision.

Jefferson had a vision of a self-sufficient yeoman class, who were independent of the monied interests and their political allies. The powerful could control the independent factions by manipulating their economic environment. Look at a railroad setting freight rates in the nineteenth century, with no free market alternatives to curb their power.*

Senator Kaine and Senator Warner, in Virginia, can scare the civil servants, uniformed service members or federal contractors with the specter of a conservative or libertarian out to eliminate their job, military mission, or contract. They use code phrases like “strong defense” or “supporting military families”, undoubtedly worthy purposes, to maintain both their own power and the size of government. Other worthy and necessary purposes keeping government big are highways and education. The administrative state needs government employees and government contractors, who will always fall prey to the political bully boy/girl. I’m not suggesting merely derailing the gravy train. Rather, I’m saying take up the track, just as railroads abandon obsolete, disused, and,therefore, expensive lines. Thriving economies have a dynamism to them. Shackling them to government or to privileged industries with the risk of ossification and obsolescence hinders that dynamism. The counter balance demands citizens who see beyond a job or an industry. And it is a delicate balance, requiring the discerning skills of a broadly educated citizenry, unfettered to any potentially stifling industry.

At its core is a conflict. Politicians and their financial backers want the economy and the government to grow, Thus the university has morphed into a trade school. Some new graduates will get jobs in government. Alternatively, the prospective college graduate/ employee finds work in an industry (often “high tech”), whose owners regularly and overwhelmingly support politicians who advocate for their agendas. They conflate the needs and values of, say, an Amazon, with the greater public good. The tech giants have shown with increasing frequency that their corporate “cultures” are monolithically authoritarian and leftist, holding political, social or religious conservatives in disdain, if not outright contempt. An employee who must conform to the corporate culture to practice their skill is not free.

All this “education” for work in the administrative state or private sector behemoth creates a dependent or subservient class that would be anathema to visionaries of a free society, people like Jefferson. Higher education has the challenge of educating a free people, not evermore sophisticated serfs. And this challenge to educate independent critical thinkers is not new. Paradigms of conformity have always existed, and always it is necessary to assess the value of these paradigms. Transcendent standards and ideals must be studied.The studies comprise the liberal arts and sciences. It would do well to study tbese disciplines independent of a Marxist analysis.

In the political realm, I would urge voters to make university funding and overview priority issues in the upcoming election cycles. That means seriously looking at just what colleges are up to. That means using funding and the student loan programs to maintain universities as institutions dedicated to the free exchange of ideas. Demand the college presidents go before the legislative bodies to justify their institutions’ existence. The legislatures, while they still can exert a modicum of restraint on the public college, should demand full disclosure of the “partnerships” between the University and contemporary tech companies. If they are reticent to disclose, use the subpoena power. Have tbe University presidents explain why they turn a blind eye to the leftist gangs and their excesses. Have them explain why cronies of Democratic politicians get teaching jobs and conservatives working in Republican Administrations don’t. Have them justify the tenure systems that keeps Marxist ideologues employed in perpetuity, all in the name of “academic freedom”, while, at the same time, they seek to repress dissent. Look no further than the academic monoculture that decries “white male privilege” and villifies Jefferson, to name just one of their bête noir.

The voters can stop this impending dystopia. The politicians and academic officials won’t.

* The exorbitant unchecked rates (power) of the railroads was counterbalanced by a robust government response at the time. So I’m not advocating a toothless lion for government.

Twenty-five Years

10 Wednesday Jul 2019

Posted by David in alcoholism, Sobriety, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

#25 yrs, #AA, recovery

On July 9, 1994, I drank a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer after I mowed the lawn. The next day I drove to Havre de Grace, Maryland with my six year old son to visit my then wife and his mother. She had just been admitted to a top tier alcoholism rehabilitation facility. That was the last drink I ever had.

I have had very vivid drinking dreams during this time of recovery, but I didn’t drink. I have worked the 12 Steps of Recovery. More than that, I have had the desire to stay sober above all else.

A lot of selfishness has melted away. A lot of compassion has come to fill that void created. I’m not perfect, not even close. I’m just glad that nightmare has been over for the last twenty five years.

Carousel of Consciousness

09 Tuesday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments


It is another morning, early. I tried to fall asleep, but could not. The lie I tell myself that things are not all that important, is shown for what it is. I am the person who trivializes the importance of people and institutions, because I see myself as impotent to change things. Therefore I neither challenge nor engage. Marriage, politics, sex, religion, sports are merely horses on the carousel of my consciousness. They whirl around, with me mounted on one or the other. The move up and down as they rotate on the axis. There is motion , I think I am going somewhere, but the experience is like swimming laps. I finish in the same place I started.

I did try to sleep. But J snores in between nightmares. And my brain is still focused on one thing or another. Pain in my jaw or shoulder or neck will remind me of my limitations.

So I come back down. I watch the Ashland scene, thinking a freight may pass. Perhaps I should switch to England where the sun is up. There was a town on the Devonshire coast that had a railcam set up. Maybe the Blackpool trams are running. Put I am gradually dozing off.

I will make the effort to leave the house in the morning. But wait, New Zealand and India play tomorrow morning, later this morning really, in the first semifinal match. I must go out. Reality is losing to cable TV and satellites and images on a screen.

Yes. I am sleepy now. I Love Lucy is no longer playing on the DVD. This could be my big chance.

Loneliness sucks.

Note To Self: Get Up

09 Tuesday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

I’ve been sitting around a lot when I haven’t been sleeping. I don’t really want to do much.

The palpable negativity in the country takes its toll. For example, I know the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team won the World Cup. I also know 1) they have a complaint about money (this is America, after all), 2) they don’t like Donald Trump (again, no surprise), and 3) those who are lesbian on the team don’t hide their sexual orientation (least surprising of all, given it’s 2019).

Think about this. To the casual observer, the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team is as famous for its complaints as it is its triumph.

So there is all this excitement. I feel no excitement. I have felt no excitement about a sports championship since 1996, when the Yankees won the World Series after a long dry spell. The Cricket World Cup is somewhat exciting, given I am a new fan. But I will be impressed with whomever wins.

So sports frenzy is met with lethargic indifference on my part. My level of excitement needs to escalate.

As George Costanza once (many times, actually) famously said, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Monday Sounds

08 Monday Jul 2019

Posted by David in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

It is Monday in Ashland. I hear the sound of a train horn, next the crossing gate’s alarm , now the bell and screech of brakes as #86 Northbound pulls in to pick up passengers on its way to Washington and ultimately New York City.

There are people who commute to Washington on this train, bureaucrats, contract emloyees or contractors’ emloyees. Perhaps a tourist is making a day trip to Washington. A day trip to New York isn’t out of the question, but that is a stretch.

I miss both big cities. I miss the museums of both cities. I miss the excitement, the noise and the smells of Manhattan. The adventure, for me, starts by climbing aboard the train.

Other sounds for Monday bring me back. The hum of traffic on England Street where street crosses tracks. It is not yet 6:30. The tradesmen, electricians, plumbers and mechanics are headed to work, maybe some doctors, definitely nurses, headed in for the shift change. And there is another train horn, most likely a freight. Here it comes. Not a freight this hour, but Northbound #52 Autotrain, headed to Lorton, VA on its nonstop run from Sanford Florida. The train carries passengers and their cars, or trucks, or motorcycles.

We have reverted to quiet again. Now I hear the refrigerator in the house and not much else.

Truth be told, I’m cold this morning. I guess I should turn up the air conditioning.

I wonder what the sounds of an inefficient world were, with steam locomotives that had whistles, rather than air horns. There were horse-drawn wagons once that delivered ice in summer, coal in winter. That meant the sound of shod hooves on cobblestone pavements. And we can close our eyes and imagine the sound of the town band performing in the bandstand in the park, Perhaps Sinclair Lewis, John dos Passos, Edgar Lee Masters, or Sherwood Anderson wrote of such a moment. Maybe Samuel Barber, Charles Ives, or Aaron Copeland gave that musical moment music of his own.

We listen to America going about its business. I fight the sleep returning. I watch this day begin. I hear the throaty diesel of the refuse truck. Later a train will pass, hauling giant green containers, filled with Washingtonian refuse. Refuse, picked up compacted, hauled and dumped, only to be loaded hauled and dumped again. What strange effluvia of progress is our waste!

I wonder if I just heard the sounds of progress or simply more noise.

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