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I would say I’m starting my day in a fog, but that’s not quite the word. We can feel the Autumn early in the morning. There’s no color change yet with the trees. There is a bit of a draft at my ankles as I sit and write.
I feel an overwhelming loneliness almost every waking minute and I think everything I do during my waking hours is done with the intention of keeping that loneliness at bay.
I feel shame for my sexual desires, yet those desires are for nothing more than a sexual dimension to my marriage.
As I write, my wife sleeps. She sleeps a lot.
Another day in this Hell.
Dispatches From Dystopia 
Thanks for sharing. Have you thought about accidentally on purpose letting her see this article?
No. That won’t work,
Oh, okay. You know her best. I wish you success in finding a solution. Thanks for getting back to me.
Loneliness in Marriage exists. The longing for love goes on. To walk into a room where he sits and he walks out, to follow him and he walks away from you. Before he dies he says “sorry”, too late far too late. Good luck to you David.
It gets better. We keep talking and I learn she has experienced a loss of libido accompanying menopause. Combine that with some negative messages on sexuality from her upbringing. These are issues that are not insurmountable if willingness is there. Love is too precious to cast everything aside for self-centered reasons.
David, I was a very naive young Woman from a strict Catholic upbringing, say no more. No experience of men, fell in love with a man 30 years older than me. Thought everything would be wonderful, rejected on my Wedding Night. The “First Time” barely remember all these years later but I should be able to remember. All I ever wanted was to be told “I love you” but my late Husband, also a David, used to quote Charles on his engagement to the beautiful Diana they killed, “Whatever love is”. I am in my sixties now, too late. Do I regret what I did, “yes” but I have my Sons it was worth it.