Interest On National Debt

29 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by in American History, Politics

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I just heard a Congressmember state that in the Federal Government Fiscal Year ending on 30 September 2018, $500 Billion was spent on Interest on the National Debt, while the Federal Government spent $50 Billion on transportation in the same budget. Ten times as much.

This is the uncomfortable and inconvenient truth about the budget. Spending is more and more about paying interest on the debt. It will become worse as long as the Federal Government spends more than it collects in taxes.

Do you want to blame someone? We are the ones who expect the government to allocate money it doesn’t have to fund a plethora of programs people clamor for. Blame yourself.

The Other Hunger

26 Saturday Jan 2019

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A Blurb, Perhaps A Story

Sometimes the hunger he felt wasn’t for food. He knew that. Ten years, was it, since he had been with a woman? He had forgotten so much. The moisture, the smells, the moaning, the conversation, the touches all were in the realm of memory. And his yearnings could now be construed as unnatural, predatory, unhealthy, even criminal.

“Do I secure a written release, a hold harmless before I so much as even talk to a woman in whom I am interested?”

Of course, there were no women in his life, so the question was moot.

Tragedy, For Real

24 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by in alcoholism, Uncategorized

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So I went to an AA meeting this evening. It was a typical meeting. We share our experience, strength, and hope around recovery from alcoholism. This is what we talk about. Nothing unusual. Then I learn at the end that somebody I knew, not well, but I knew had overdosed, on what, I don’t know, nor does it matter.

Addicts and alcoholics dying from substance abuse isn’t news. When we lose somebody, it still hurts. We are the lucky ones, the survivors.

You might say I don’t have a lot of patience for any contrived drama. The manipulators and exploiters abound. Read between the lines. Look for the back story. Get some other form of exercise besides jumping to conclusions. Because the real tragedy often doesn’t make the headlines. It ceased to be news a long time ago.

9:20 AM

23 Wednesday Jan 2019

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I woke up again from a dream that centered around two (of many) failures in my life. Upon awakening, I realized all the failures don’t matter. They just don’t.

The other dream was about an execution that somehow I was involved in. Now I have never had any experience watching or assisting in an execution, this was just more bizarre stuff..

I thought I wanted to wake up and start my day. But I don’t. Back to bed for me.

4:00 AM

23 Wednesday Jan 2019

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I am up. I am watching a Russian language war movie on YouTube. Occasionally a word of dialogue stands out that I understand. I follow the story through the action. The characters appear to be partisans on some endless odyssey.

My feet are cold. It is Dry Skin Season, where the skin dries and cracks, even bleeds for apparently no reason, except that it is cold and dry.

I went to Mellow Mushroom and had a pizza yesterday. We drove to Hanover courthouse, the next county north of Henrico to renew a vehicle license tag, because the wait is shorter up there. It was actually a pleasant ride. On the way back, we stopped at an antique shop to chat with the owner, a 92 year old woman, whom I have known for fifty years, most of my life. Her specialties are postcards and pottery.

Later that evening I helped a friend retrieve his cell phone which he left at a store where he worked that day. He is an intrepid and resourceful man who does not use an automobile. He gets around by walking, bicycle, bus or even train. It has become something of a sport for him.

This wakefulness is typical. I think I will go back to bed. And warm my feet.

Good night Loves.

Russia.Change.

22 Tuesday Jan 2019

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It is 4:54 AM Eastern Time U.S. I am watching a young Russian woman showing me women’s underwear. She is holding each item up, pointing out details. Will she model the items? Who knows?

I remember when the stereotype of Russian women was of a frumpy middle-aged woman who wore a head scarf (baboushka) and chunky boots. Things have changed a bit. Russia very much has a consumer, free market (capitalistic) economy. Fifty years ago, the United States and The Union Of Soviet Socialist Republics were prepared to annihilate each other and the rest of the world along with them.

Now we have an entire generation who have NO memory of The Cold War, the abject failure of Marxist economics, and the brutality of the Communist totalitarian state. At least one of these young people is now serving in Congress.

The street survivalist wisdom of living under a Marxist economy suggested that one stand on the line whenever a queue formed to buy whatever it was that was available, whether one needed the item or not. For example, toilet paper might be offered in today’s line. One bought the quota of toilet paper available, with the intention of trading your surplus toilet paper for the toothpaste, razor blades or feminine hygiene items someone else may have acquired that you or a family member might need. Americans, used to living in capitalist abundance, have no concept of any other system, where scarcity is the norm.

The resurgence of the Russian Orthodox Church is another aspect of Russian life we are surprised to hear about. The faith, during the age of Communist suppression, was practiced underground. I remember hearing a man who recalled praying the Our Father during the Nazi bombardment of Stalingrad. His mother taught him the prayer. She could have been denounced and sent to a gulag, a slave labor camp for performing such an action. The spiritual formation of our children is something we take for granted, or worse, neglect.

Updates

22 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by in Family, Health Issues

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  1. #2 Son went to the chiropractor, had his back diagnosed. No herniated disc, just a strain of the muscles.
  2. My Doctor visit. My b.p. is 130/80. My weight is 188 lbs, a 29 lb loss since mid-October, when last I saw him. I don’t know what the A1C value is yet. I am close to “normal” on the Body Mass Index, 26.9 where 25 is deemed not overweight. All in all, it was a successful visit.
  3. Birthday. We went to dinner. I had a good time and the food was good, not spectacular.
  4. Cold weather. It is cold. Tomorrow it will warm up to 36°, 8° warmer than today. By Thursday the temperature will be back to the 50’s.
  5. Swimming: I swam 12,500 meters in 5 days. That is 7.7 miles. I am satisfied with that total distance.

Birthdays

21 Monday Jan 2019

Posted by in American History, Depression

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Today is my birthday. I am 68 today. I remember 50 years ago, when I turned 18, I went to register for Selective Service (the draft). Richard Nixon was also inaugurated, because January 20 fell on a Sunday that year.

Today I’m going to the doctor to see if I have my diabetes under control with diet and exercise. I lost 25 pounds since my last doctor visit. We shall see.

I feel kind of sad today, not because I’m older, just sad. Too much negativity out there. It is 4:34 AM right now, Eastern Time U.S. I haven’t slept well. It is cold and when it gets cold, the bedroom overheats. Then I wake up.

Negativity. Funny how I cited the atmosphere of negativity in our culture today when I opened with the Nixon Inauguration. That was truly a negative time. I can’t say what era is worse, the age of Nixon or that of Trump. Distinctions like that are very subjective. I will say that the era of Nixon was before the introduction of SSRI antidepression medications. I was chronically depressed back then. At least now I’m not depressed all the time.

I have also given up on the childish notion that humanity is making progress, or, at least, should be. I can say there are positive changes, like the eradication of small pox. But our marvelous digital age that allows me to share this blog with you also means I am constantly under surveillance, not by the government, but by internet marketers. I sign up for emails from T J Maxx and I get deluged with ads from T J Maxx and its related companies on YouTube. When I watch a lot of Russian movies, I see ads from Money Gram. Privacy is dead.

I told you I was sad. Now I think I know why, at least in part,

Predicaments

19 Saturday Jan 2019

Posted by in Family, Gender Identity, Health Issues

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How do I begin? And where? Number Two Son, age 30, (Yes he is an adult) called me and asked what it feels like to have a slipped disc. I explain as best I can and he shares that he hurt his back.

Somehow or other, he wants to diagnose and treat this problem on his own. All kind of crazy, but he says one thing, “They drug test if I file a Wokers’ Comp claim.” Suddenly, all the flanking maneuveres begin to make sense. He doesn’t want to test positive for marijuana, the use of which is illegal in Virginia.

But I get to work assisting him, and do way too much to help with his problem. He is seeing a chiropractor I know and have used on Monday at 5:00 PM. With luck the problem will be correcting itself over the weekend.

I don’t suspect my son is a heavy pot smoker, but he is now organizing his life around his habit. NOT. GOOD.

I get stressed because he has Asperger’s Syndrome. Even if he wasn’t using 4-20, he tends to argue, over-think, analyze, and question even the simplest of predicaments. Here two things are key. 1) He has hurt his back. 2) A medical professional needs to assess the injury. Concealing drug use complicates a simple task.

Here’s hoping for the best possible outcome. He sees the chiro. The chiro does his magic. He feels better. He realizes that he is planning his life around his marijuana habit. And stops using. We shall see.