So J says to me today, “Shoulder pain can be a sign of lung cancer.” Casual-like. Her father had shoulder pain when his lung cancer was diagnosed at age 92. Great.

So my mind has been nuts for the last 12 hours or so. The pain has changed, moved to other parts of my back and arm. I don’t know what it means. It is crazy. I’m calling the Doctor in the morning. I would go to bed but J decided to work on the taxes in bed.i could just scream.

We did go to the 5:00 PM Mass. I’m glad we did. I did feel the love of Christ tonight. The Passion story is so intense. It is a short course in human behavior and depravity. And I needed to hear it.

I have this shoulder pain going on, like I slept on it funny, or sat too long, or something like that. I did ride in a car more or less nonstop for 16 hours a day for a week. Hmmm, a clue?

So for the past two days I have been making an effort to work the kink out. Kink, not that kind. I have been swimming, a mile yesterday 1100 meters today. Today I swam in the family pool, the warmer pool, which explains the shortened distance. It was quite a test. I move my shoulder with little problems swimming. I’m done. I come home.

Earlier, we had dinner (lunch) with friends at our favorite restaurant. I had salmon, steamed vegetables,fresh fruit.

We decide to skip the Vigil Mass tonight for the Palm Sunday Mass on Sunday.

I’m tired, lonely, sexually unfulfilled. And I have no solution to this dilemma. Except talking, communicating, and trusting that Love will find a way,

This is a familiar time and a familiar reason for being awake. Pain. This time I have a sore shoulder that feels “tight” and sore. Ice seems to help. J will be up in a short while. I shall go back to sleep after she awakens and showers.

I tried reading, but can’t get engaged with the story. Odd. The author is Anais Nin, usually not a problem getting involved in her fiction. Later, I guess.

There are Looney Tunes cartoons on YouTube. Some animated mayhem usually perks me up. Daffy Duck is fighting Nazis. It is war Everybody did their part.

OK , Back to bed.

How else can I describe how I feel? The energy present during our late lunch/early dinner at Mellow Mushroom has dissipated. I am watching a Looney Tunes cartoon that I have seen countless times, A Corny Concerto. It is still funny and gorgeous to watch. It is a send up of Fantasia with some anti-Nazi imagery thrown in for good measure.

But I am overwhelming myself. More books came today, on important topics, Allen Dulles, and Washington corruption. My concern about public corruption and the morphing of American journalism into propaganda now has a longer reading list, but the reader (me) is lacking gumption.

The next cartoon is on. Can’t recall the title, but the soundtrack just played The Girlfriend Of The Whirling Dervish. There is patriotic imagery in this one too, a cartoon with mice and a tyrannical cat. The little guys (mice) won.

Think I will rest a bit. .