Sitting Here

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That is what I am doing right now. I am tired and I wish I wasn’t so conscious of my lower jaw at this moment.

We went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. I had some very nice chicken samosas, plus the salad J got with her dinner that she didn’t want.

After we ate, we walked around our open mall, noting that, at around 6:30 pm, there were few people there. Any of you other Americanos notice a drop off in crowds at your local malls? We have only one financially viable enclosed mall around here. The rest are open air.

I’m watching Paul and Rebecca Whitewick walk around England looking for abandoned railway stations. Their YouTube channel is Whitewick’s Abandoned Railways. It is fascinating. This couple is so cool together, just fun to watch. They are so engaged with this project. They are worth a look.

Up On Friday

I woke up after sleeping fairly well, but not long enough. Pakistan is playing Bangladesh at Lord’s in London. Looks like a good game so far. There is a rhythm and timelessness to cricket. I listen to the satisfying thunk of a bat striking the ball. They seem to come at a regular interval.

I was curious as to where Northbound Silver Meteor #98 would intersect with Southbound Silver Meteor #98 this morning. Sometime around 1:30 AM, they intersect just North of Fsyetteville, North Carolina. This is your useless tidbit of information for the day.

Saving souls works through a gentle heart. I don’t know where that came from.

And I’m tired now.

Dependence Day Every Day

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It is 5:15 AM. I have been up since around 2:30 AM. I made a pot of decaf, sliced some strawberries for J’s lunch, and packed her tuna salad, rice crackers, snacks.

When I finished I prayed The Rosary. Since I didn’t pray the Rosary Wednesday night, I prayed The Glorious Mysteries. There is, with praying the Rosary, the tension between faith and reason. The basic question, “What’s the point?” Is it just about praying the Hail Mary fifty times. I don’t get a Thank You Note from The Blessed Mother. How do I know she is listening? I think about Fatima. She told us offering The Rosary is important. But I get the feeling she is listening. She is my Mother. No she is not my invisible friend. She is my Protectress.

When I started wearing the brown scapular of the Carmelites, something changed in how I viewed the World, what my needs were, what I demanded in terms of material and psychological gratification. Go figure. We can’t imagine anything exists outside of Time and Space, that there is a Truth beyond what we can observe, perceive, and record.

But I try not to think too much about that. Just keep my eyes on the little courtesies of living with other people. That is challenge enough.

Wednesday

This tooth deal is bigger than I thought, as my good buddy Olivia pointed out. The actual extraction was OK. The novacaine was a good local anaesthetic. After the extraction comes the course of antibiotic and the pain meds. I didn’t feel the need for hydrocodone after yesterday. I’m taking naproxen now, an NSAID. The antibiotic plays havoc with my intestinal flora, so plenty of yogurt for me.

J’s work schedule compels me to be up when she gets up, although with cricket starting at 530 AM, her early starts dovetail nicely with my latest diversion.

The political scandals here in the States are about to explode. I fear very much that some high profile political figures will be involved in human trafficking and drug smuggling cases. An awful lot of well-intentioned people will discover that their anti-Trump outrage was ginned up to provide cover for the crooks. Just sayin’.

I’m tired. Part of the recovery, I think,

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Prurient Interest

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That phrase figured in the legal language in determining what was obscene back in the day when the prosecutors and the courts cared. If dicks got hard or cunts got moist, then something was obscene. You don’t need so arcane a phrase as that when one is dealing with kiddie porn. Since we are rapidly moving toward a post-literate age, nobody is particularly worried any longer about Molly Bloom’s soliloquy from Ulysses.

I’m having one of those afternoons where J is home, decompressing from work. Part of relaxing from work is watching The Waltons, a preachy show about liberal virtues that J finds heartwarming and I find annoying. I’m in one of those lazy moods, still a little groggy from the pain meds. There is a certain virtue in letting things pass that aren’t important. I learned that from a hair stylist in Georgetown, who was dying from AIDS. I remember those days.

Which takes me back to prurient interest. I can create a sexual fantasy around darn near anything, the smell of Lapsang Souchong tea, a rose, a Monroe. Letting desire build, letting our environment invite erotic reverie are not lost arts, just neglected activities. I’m just sitting with no TV on, no access to the web, except what I am writing now.

And my mind has wandered to how thrilling it is to engage in a deep, lingering, and spit-swapping kiss, or to revel in the feel of naked skin on naked skin, or the sound of my lover moaning with pleasure. Intimate. Yes. And totally life affirming.

Edgbaston In Birmingham

India and Bangladesh are facing off. India is batting first. They have 133 runs for 0 wickets Rohit Sharma just hit another 6. I don’t know what to say. This is a remarkable partnership with Rahul. Both could have centuries.

I got up way too early. I shall go back to bed. But watching cricket is like eating salty snacks like peanuts or a bag of crisps. “Just one more ball, one more over.” “I’ll turn it off when they take the first (next) wicket”. Pretty soon the morning has evaporated.

I have come to think of India and Bangladesh differently from watching Cricket World Cup. Prior to the tournament, I thought of these nations in terms of their problems and little else. These nations have their competitiveness and sportsmanship on display. They have every right to be proud.

There is something evocative of the Nineteenth Century reflected in this match. Sure the technology is much advanced. But spirit of the Empire lives on.

Desire In Four Paragraphs

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Sometimes I have the energy to put down a lot of words that may seduce another into the vacuous dreams of my adolescent fantasies, aged within an old man’s brain.

Alas, today, there is no room or time or energy to tempt another with conjured delights of skin on skin, lips on skin, lips on lips, genitals in congress, or moans and cries of ecstasy.

There are in my head, a thought and a yearning of pleasure, a dream that you will be free of all the craziness that enslaves you, just as I shed the construct of my loneliness

And, for once, in your life, you won’t care what time it is, or where you have to be tomorrow.

Back Teeth Out

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I had two molars, all the way in the back that were difficult to keep clean. They were so far back I didn’t even know I had them, #31 and #18, if you’re keeping score at home. So there is/was a risk of infection into the bone. So I went to the periodontist. He numbed me up real good and yanked them out. That was about three hours ago. I feel OK but the novacaine is wearing off. I took a hydrocodone( aka The Good Stuff) and will start with the ice.

Watching cricket now. Looks like Sri Lanka will beat West Indies. WI has to score 101 runs and they have 4 wickets and 10 overs to work with.

Life is not bad.