I awoke about thirty minutes ago. J is at work. I am alone.
Yesterday was a day painful to recall, even now. There was no argument, no shouting, just the omnipresence of her illness, her depression, in all its multiple aspects. She was obsessive in her attention to detail , to begin with.
We went to #1 son’s nursery, to buy plants, before we had lunch. She was concerned that a live plant would wilt and die if we left it in the car too long during lunch, but we needed to go the nursery first before it closed. As it turned out service at the restaurant was unbearably slow, approaching indifference . I did make sure to find out if the plant we did purchase could survive a wait in the back of the SUV whilst we dined.
She believes I am unaware of my surroundings, that a car will hit me . I am, in her estimation, a doddering old man. So she worries about me while I’m simply walking around.
Have I mentioned that she sleeps nearly all of the time she is at home? Since she was once observed by a Peeping Tom the blinds must always be closed. That makes for a dark and dreary house.
Intimacy, what’s that?
So I’m exhausted from dealing with her disease, lonely, because our marriage is consumed by her illness.
And so it goes.
So difficult. I’m sorry. Caretaking can be such a joyless job.
Make time for yourself. Get out of the house. So stuff just for you. She can’t keep you imprisoned. If you’re able to have a social life you should.
Thanks. She’s coming around. Sometimes knowing when to accept where a person “is” is the key to inviting that person to change. “Creating the space in which change can occur” is another way to put it
That’s truly brilliant ❣️🥰💋
I suck at that
KT Workman said:
My husband has multiple serious physical ailments and takes a mountain of pills for them every day. I don’t know if it’s the diseases (which most are caused or exacerbated by his morbid obesity) or the meds, but living with him is like walking on eggshells, just waiting for the next little thing that will have him throwing a temper tantrum. He refused to admit he has a problem, lays all the fault for our sucky relationship at my door. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he just gets defensive and yells. Some people you can’t reason with.
I wish you luck with that.
Yeah. We went out to eat tonight. I wanted to just be with her. And she shared a story about rabies she heard on NPR. Nothing like a rabies story to unblock those channels of communication. She, honest to God, can’t help being the way she is.
KT Workman said:
I think most of us are just who we are, good or bad. And whether good or bad is in the eye of the beholder. My husband is a jerk, and he probably thinks I’m a bitch, and who knows, we may both be right. lol