RB asked me over for coffee. I went over to his house on Church Hill and had coffee, along with some oatmeal raisin cookies that he made.
And we talked. I told him every time he or his brother call, I think something bad has happened to them. He did not want a detailed elaboration on the reason for my ungrounded fear. He must have merely assumed it came with being the son of his profoundly fatalistic grandmother.
So I came home, then had lunch with J at First Watch. Adjacent to First Watch is Blythe, an upscale lingerie shop. I remarked that some of lingerie and day wear was quite attractive. I got the predictable response about her preferred comfortable stuff. (Read sexless, old lady stodgy). I let it drop. I didn’t want to die on that hill today.
She went off to check out the thrift shops and the library. I took a nap.
Any way, I have a post I want to write about packaging, but not today. Maybe tomorrow.
Question for you. Does she feel desired by you? I think sometimes it pays to work backwards in life. Maybe if the feeling comes first the action will follow. Just a thought.
I think feelings of desire would mean confronting her sexuality, not that she’s gay or anything like that.
So she doesn’t believe she’s sexual?
Not any more, right now.
Hmmmm….sad. I’m sorry. Is that not something you two can discuss?
Yes. I mentioned my needs around physical intimacy a few days ago and it’s time to press the issue.
Well. Has she stated her needs?
Uh, no.
Well. Maybe it will be easier for you to get your needs met if she feels you cared about her needs being met too.
Thanks. I will make that a priority
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You are the best.
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Coffee and cookies sounds pleasant. So what is the reason for your ungrounded fears when you sons call?
I don’t know. Maybe, as I mentioned, I channel my mother’s fatalism.
Well. Then it is that.
Her ghost has her hand on my shoulder,
Yep.