I did have the first of what I hope will be many conversations with J about the state of the house. She acted really hurt when I expressed my frustration around cleaning up over a decade of clutter and mess. The Brat/Little Model is something she doesn’t see nor will I bring up any time soon. She had a deep cry and I felt bad about being a hard ass. But I have expressed my self for a long time. This will take some practice.
Jade asked a good question about love languages. I fully get that her working is an expression of love, her love language, if you will. Doing the housework at more intensive level makes me aware of my physical limits, so working a “real job” isn’t going to happen soon.
Progress though. Real love felt.