Firstly, I was unaware of the Daddy/little girl dynamic at work until about a week ago. What I was aware of was the behavior of her in regard to not doing any work around the house, hoarding, allowing messes to persist, offering excuses about being “tired” at the end of the work day, not putting clothes in her dresser drawers, et cetera, ad nauseam. I would cook so she didn’t have to; my ego needed the praise for my cooking,
So I “enabled” a lot of bad behavior, the kind of behavior you see in a twelve year old who won’t clean her room. I can’t let her get away with this behavior anymore. That means I have to be assertive. That runs counter to my normal easy-going, non-confrontational persona. Yikes.
She has two trump cards, bullet proof excuses. 1) She is tired after work. 2) She has a kidney stone working its way out. These excuses won’t “cut it” any more. I cannot live in a mess.
I was unwilling to acknowledge that this mess of a house is a BIG deal. I never viewed it as disrespect towards me. This was possible when I didn’t view myself as worthy of, deserving of and needing respect.
This is about my self-perception changing.