When I was a lad, those many years ago. I had a “pen pal”. His name was Werner and he lived in Mannheim, then in the Bundes Republik Deutschland, or West Germany. Mannheim is on the Rhine. I don’t know much else about the place.
I have no idea what happened to him, but I get the excitement when my favorite bloggers post a blog,or leave a comment on my blog. Marvelous excitement. I feel like I’m understood.
Sometimes when one of my posts exposes what I perceive as a vulnerability, like a sexual memory and it is “liked” or commented on, I feel particularly validated. The awful truth is I don’t feel loved. I know cognitively, I am. I have a good marriage, especially compared to my earlier nightmares, I mean marriages. I’ve posted this before. I’m just feeling that invalidation again.