It is 5:15 AM. I have been up since around 2:30 AM. I made a pot of decaf, sliced some strawberries for J’s lunch, and packed her tuna salad, rice crackers, snacks.

When I finished I prayed The Rosary. Since I didn’t pray the Rosary Wednesday night, I prayed The Glorious Mysteries. There is, with praying the Rosary, the tension between faith and reason. The basic question, “What’s the point?” Is it just about praying the Hail Mary fifty times. I don’t get a Thank You Note from The Blessed Mother. How do I know she is listening? I think about Fatima. She told us offering The Rosary is important. But I get the feeling she is listening. She is my Mother. No she is not my invisible friend. She is my Protectress.

When I started wearing the brown scapular of the Carmelites, something changed in how I viewed the World, what my needs were, what I demanded in terms of material and psychological gratification. Go figure. We can’t imagine anything exists outside of Time and Space, that there is a Truth beyond what we can observe, perceive, and record.

But I try not to think too much about that. Just keep my eyes on the little courtesies of living with other people. That is challenge enough.