Aesthetics (Revision #1)

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I don’t know how much I am going to write about this right now. So come back for future editions. The previous post, wherein Anna Netrebko and Elina Garanca perform the Flower Duet from Delibes’ opera Lakme, has me thinking about beauty and art.

Art is a convergence of emotion and intellect. With exceptions, the art of Jackson Pollack, (perhaps?), art (literature and music included under that term) expresses itself in a discernable structure that touches a common understanding with humanity.

We can see beauty in Michelangelo’s David and an African mask. This David seems somewhat remote from Bible stories, just as the masks evoke a spirit world that we Westerners don’t fully understand, if at all.

But the construction of both are ordered and get points across. David represents a human at a full potential, as a child of God. The masks confront us with the depth of the universe, that there is always more than just what we see.

What I’m leading to are the questions, can there be an aesthetic of chaos, disorder, ugliness and brutality?

This is not to say that art cannot depict ugly or disturbing images. Michelangelo’s Last Judgement from the Sistine Chapel immediately comes to mind. Robert Capa’s iconic photograph of a Spanish Republican soldier at he moment he is killed is another example. No image captures the brutality of war better than that photograph.

Rebound

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A lot of the negativity that characterized recent posts has dissipated. I simply have been doing the next right thing. I keep my focus, laser intense, on what is positive, healthy, and on things which I can change.

The decrepit car is holding up.

I have been having a wonderful time cooking low-fat, low carb, low gluten dishes. I swim almost every day.

I am grateful for the love of real world family and friends, plus those I know through the digital world. Thank you especially Jade and Olivia.

My Experience With Corporate Welfare

Most of you know that I am a pro-business, conservative kind of guy. But an ongoing experience with a powerful and wealthy insurance company opened my eyes to a practice that makes a mockery of the free market and is readily used by companies that don’t really need any breaks at the public expense.

Back when I was working, I was enrolled in a long-term disability insurance plan (LTD) as a fringe benefit of my job. I also elected to purchase more coverage on my own.  Many workers are enrolled in such plans, never expecting to use them, until they get sick or hurt or an old injury finally needs attention.  When spinal stenosis made getting around and doing the ordinary activities of living impossible without pain, I elected to get a spinal laminectomy and fusion. Because I had been previously disabled by a rotator cuff repair and had not worked because of the stenosis pain for six months, I was eligible for long term disability insurance at the time of the surgery.  This six month waiting period also coincides with Social Security’s six month waiting period.

So I applied. The carrier took their time in getting my first payment to me, as in five months. yes Sirree folks, 5 months. Fortunately we had savings, a working spouse to bring in income and the house was paid for. I also had to apply, per the contract stipulation, for Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Time goes by. I get money more or less regularly, The benefit is “integrated” with any SSDI I might receive. I elected to have a reduced benefit, reflecting that I would get money, or might get money, from Social Security.

As is Social Security’s practice, they denied my application for SSDI. I appealed. They denied on appeal. Bear in mind, applying for SSDI requires filing out forms, not just by me, but by physicians, surgeons, and physical therapists. And if somebody has to fill out a form, somebody (or somebodies) else has to look at them. Understand this process ain’t cheap. Finally, in April 2018, I get a hearing.  I tell my story to an Administrative Law Judge. An expert witness in rehabilitation offers testimony about my condition.  Two years and ten months after my surgery, my claim for SSDI is approved and I get some money from the government,  covering a period from the date of surgery to the day I start receiving my Social Security Retirement Benefit at age 66.

Now, remember how my private insurance was integrated with whatever money I would get from Uncle Sam? That means I would have to send some of the money from Social Security to the private insurance carrier. That would represent the  “overpayment” the private carrier made to me, even though I elected to receive a reduced benefit. So by the insurance company’s calculation, they “overpaid” me by about one half of the settlement I received from Social Security. 

After my rage subsided and I realized 1) what was taking place was perfectly legal (and totally sleazy!),  2) I was merely functioning as an intermediary between the government and the insurance company, and 3) it was never really my money in the first place, I will write them the check.

Insurance is all about transferring risk and assuming of risk by another party. So the insurance company assumes the risk of financial loss by me pursuant to my disability, then transfers that assumed risk to the Social Security Administration (SSA).  What they paid out of their multi-billion  dollar  reserves was only about 21% of the actual claim. Uncle Sam via Social Security paid the rest.  Pretty slick, huh?

I suppose if Social Security didn’t have long term viability and solvency issues, this wouldn’t bother me. Or that there is an entire group of insurers, called reinsurance, where insurance companies can mitigate their loss potential, that these primary insurers could use. But then, again why should they, when they can legally sell an “integrated” plan, that enables SSA and the taxpayers to assume the risk?  Back when Social Security’s standards for disability were higher, this disability award would have been a rarity. But shrewd people have learned how to overcome the barriers to the money and to exploit the system. An integrated plan, that might have been acceptable decades ago, now is a burden to Social Security and to the taxpayer (that means you).

Changes

Once again, I am discouraged. My world is about to change as I contemplate the challenge of living without an automobile. The one I have driven for the last seven years has a serious problem. I don’t know if we can afford a second car under our present circumstances. Lots of walking in my future. Restructuring my world, in order to live within walking distance of my necessary institutions, grocery shopping recreation, socializing, seems to be next. That may mean I post more often. It may mean I post hardly at all. Bear with me, as I sort things out.

Snow

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I keep thinking about Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye in White Christmas. Of course, that wa

s Hollywood and not really snow at all. There’s no Rosemary Clooney or Vera Ellen either. Maybe they should have stayed in Florida and sung Sisters one more time.

Shoveling snow is not one of the recommended activities after one has had a spinal fusion. So, like Blanche DuBois, I must “depend upon the kindness of strangers.”

The snow is still in the beautiful phase. Two young women built a snow family by the train depot in Ashland.

Truth is, I want to get back to the pool. I had created a pretty good “normal” for myself, being mindful of what I ate, swimming, feeling generally purposeful and useful. So life once again has intervened upon, uh, life. If I embark upon a comfort food extravaganza, I will be consuming way too many calories. I must therefore act as if, nothing unusual has happened. Of course, in the Northern latitudes, nothing unusual has happened. It snows in Winter.

Dinner Tonight: Roast & Resentment

I pulled out all the stops, fixing The Mother Of All Snowy Days Dinners. Objectives: 1) Hearty Meal, 2) Shameless Use of Butter, 3) Food you don’t have everyday.

The Meal: roast pork loin, butternut squash, broccoli w homemade cheese sauce, and spoonbread.

Can you say “Southern”?

Too bad my wife can’t seem to find enough energy to eat at the table with me.

What am I? The hired help? Oh well.

But she loves me, she says. And she is tired. She appreciates that I understand. Yes I do understand. I also hurt.

Gloom, Sleepless Gloom

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I have been up awhile. I put a DVD of Popeye cartoons from the 1930’s in the DVD player and watched for awhile. Truth is, I like to listen to the music. It’s a quirky 30’s swing music, perfectly synchronized to the action. The cartoons lift my spirits. I’m feeling the gut punch that is loneliness. I’m not making much of an effort to join my wife in Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, reruns of The Waltons or The Andy Griffith Show, after Don Knotts left. Somehow Aunt Bea and Goober just couldn’t carry the show. She works, comes home, then is off in her world..

Words she once pronounced 10 years ago still sting, “I guess I’m not very lovey-dovey.” Heartaches have sources and origins, leave scars, abd readily refresh themselves.

#98, The Northbound Silver Meteor, went through Ashland, 30 minutes late.

We are expecting snow today. I may sequester myself with lots of coffee, books, naps, movies and ride this storm out. I could always vacuum and bundle up newspapers, clean the kitchen and bathrooms, but it is Sunday after all.

Next thing to do is fix my wife tuna salad and some sliced strawberries for her lunch.

I just don’t care about Christmas any more.

Off to prepare the tuna.