Tuesday

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Finally took a Zyrtec© for my allergies which are bothering me. With any luck I might feel better.

So it has been an OK day. I slept between 7 and 11 AM. J came home from work. We went to lunch. I didn’t have much energy and took an afternoon nap.

#2 Son C**d is having lunch with me tomorrow. I always feel better when we get together.

Somehow a day isn’t complete without checking in with my blogosphere friends. Love might be too strong a word to describe relationships with people I have never met in person. Yet love fits how I feel.

The Volunteer

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NSFW Erotic Fantasy. Mature Topic

It was a typical medical office. There was the sign-in sheet designed with confidentiality in mind, the desk where insurance coverage was verified, the waiting area of chairs, magazines, TV monitors on some specialty medical office channel touting flu shots, stressing hydration, and affirming the wisdom of cabbage (cruciferous vegetables). Sarah Jane was as tired of hearing about cabbage as she was of her husband’s interminable praise of golf.

“I want a doctor to tell me to eat pastry,” her fanciful and rebellious imp side whispered in her right ear as she glimpsed at an ad for Farxiga.

“Maybe a session in that fancy jetted tub after strawberries and mangoes would make more sense and be more fun,” countered her healthy fairy godmother in her left.

“Mrs Harricott.”

The nurse called her name.

“This way, please.” She knew the drill, the weigh in, the blood pressure. She was half-expecting the application of leeches and the analysis of her bodily humors. That would make about as much difference as to how she felt.

At this point, the office visit took a singular and momentous turn. After the mandatory “knock knock“, a woman in a lab coat strode into the examination room.

“Hello, I’m Dr Parminter. Dr Feivel has the flu and asked me to cover for him. I see you are here for a six month visit for your hypertension.”

“Yes.” Sarah Jane tried to sound upbeat and that she had this handled, but she couldn’t hide her discouragement and resignation.

“You sound discouraged.”

“Yes.”

“Tell me about it.” And this time she did. The frustration around the usual culprits in getting older, hypertension, obesity, diabetes.

“You don’t have to act your age. Acting your age is the fast track to the cemetery. I’m looking for volunteers to test a concept I have around wellness. Are you interested in being a test subject?”

“Sure. If it doesn’t cost too much.”

“How does free sound? All you have to do is follow instructions.”

“OK”

“Be at the address on this card tomorrow at 6:00 AM. Please fast for 12 hours, water only. Bring a good pair of cross training shoes. Ask for them at an athletic shoe store.”

The Fast

She had her early dinner at Five PM, the one she thought would help. Chicken breast, broccoli, brown rice. Iced tea. Algernon, her golfing husband joined her, although he had a glass of Sauvignon Blanc from some exotic vineyard in Uruguay that his oenophile buddies were raving about. Sarah Jane thought to herself, “Maybe one glass.” She had one glass, then two more, followed by raiding her secret stash of Ben & Jerry’s.

Then the munchies hit and the twelve hour fast became a ten, then an eight, then a six. Getting up at Five to be at the Clinic at Six was a challenge, but she made it with her brand spanking new cross training shoes.

“Good morning Mrs Harricott. We are going to draw your blood first,” said the impossibly chipper Physician Trainer at the Institute. Dr. Eisenblut, or so his name badge said.

“When did you last eat, 6:00 PM?”

“Uh, no, Doctor. More like Midnight.”

“You understand you have yet to begin here and already you are failing to comply with instructions. We could disqualify you outright, but that would not serve our interests or yours. The fasting bloodwork is critical in determining your baseline level of health. If you want to continue, you will stay here and we will draw your blood at noon. There is a waiting room with all the water you want to drink and copies of Life Magazine from 1966, for your reading enjoyment.

This waiting room was unlike any other waiting room in which she had ever waited. There were mirrors on all the walls. A little intimidating, as every ice cream bar, soft drink and donut she had eaten in the last two years flashed before her eyes.

Atop the mirrored wall was a sign, a question, painful to consider:

WAS IT WORTH IT?

At noon the phlebotomist came, drew her blood, asked for a urine sample. A blonde woman with an East European accent came and offered her an orange and some blueberry yogurt.

At 1230, Dr Eisenblut returned. The blonde woman stayed.

“We need to set the tone for working with us. Key is following instructions. There is a level of discipline involved. We hope to transform externally applied disciplinary measures into internally retained positive habits. To that end, you will sign the Consent To Discipline Agreement to continue. You will also receive your first discipline session.

You may withdraw now, If you choose. We will compensate you for your bloodwork, it is useful in building our database. The choice is entirely yours.”

Sarah Jane thought about her choices. She hated the general track her life seemed to be following. She was angry at herself for this initial screw-up. There was no choice really.

“OK, Doctor. I agree.”

She signed the paperwork.

“Magda, prepare Mrs Harricott for her session.” With that Dr Eisenblut left the room.

“Please undress.” was the terse two word instruction. Sarah Jane complied, as if she were an automaton. She undressed, tee shirt, shorts, sports bra, knickers, socks, shoes. Naked, she followed Magda from the waiting room to an adjoining room, reminiscent of a college lecture hall. There were people seated at the desks, some wearing lab coats, others in tee-shirts, shorts, sneakers. Reflexively she covered herself in embarrassment. She felt every pair of eyes in the room were focused on her. They were.

“We want to welcome Delta-21, our latest volunteer. She has the usual imperatives compelling her to healthy living, and the usual impediments, alcohol, bad diet, sedentary living and a penchant for self-will. She needs our coaching.

“Let’s first complete our profile. Please stand still while we take our measurements to calculate your lean body mass. The skin fold calipers meticulous measured the”muffin top” of her naked body, as the measuring technician called out the numbers in centimeters. The numbers were noted by the Lab Coat People, the Tee-Shirt People nodded or smiled knowingly.

Finally Sarah Jane heard Dr Eisenblut’s voice. “There is also a matter of a disciplinary session that I believe will be more efficacious if we conduct it publicly.”

With that an upholstered chair was brought out. “Place yourself over the back so that the volunteers and staff may observe your buttocks as you receive your spanking.

She complied. The paddling began. With each stroke of the paddle the observers counted. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…..20.

Her stinging and reddened buttocks were on displayed for a full thirty seconds. There were camera flashes.

“Turn around”. She turned and the crowd saw her tear streaked face.

Magda returned to the stage and led her back to the mirrored room. There was a tee-shirt and shorts that matched those of the other volunteers.

She was in The Program.

Time Mismanagement

I am awake. I have been awake for about an hour. I am drinking my coffee and “planning” my day. The word “planning” is inaccurate. I’m sitting here, ready to doze off, watching a WW2 era Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd cartoon. The colors are wonderful. There was something about the palette the cartoonists used then or maybe it was the Technicolor© processing.

However I digress. This post is really about how I do very little during the day, want to do more, but can’t seem to do too much more than sleep and watch YouTube.

I was joking with J about our “sunset years” this morning as she was getting for work. I spent forty plus years working for the chance to do nothing. Now that I have nothing to do I want to do something. Crazy.

Well Porky Pig is on now, fat, stuttering Porky Pig so endearing with his megawatt smile. This cartoon is in black and white, but the color Porky is such an erotic, fleshy orangey-pink.

In watching cartoons from nearly eighty years ago, I realize people didn’t seem to worry about being “cool” then. They did stuff like use “flit guns”, devices that would spray clouds of insecticide into the air. They wore their “good” clothes on Sunday. They were glad to have jobs. They could buy all their groceries in a store less than half the size of a typical grocery store. Nobody even thought of a “big box” store.

Despite worries about employment and having enough money, the idea of a “consumer” was an alien concept. I was brought up by the people who saw these cartoons at the movies in their first run, along with movies starring Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, Rita Hayworth, Bette Davis. Real movie stars.

Regrettably, I have wasted your time. I realize I have nothing to say. I will try again later,

Absolute Service

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Warnings:

NSFW. Sexually Explicit. May Be Disturbing. Erotic Fiction. A Work Of The Imagination

Desire is a funny thing, not funny as in comic or laughable, rather it is funny in the sense of being ironic or peculiar. But when I reflect about desire a little more I think about the ends to which I will go to scratch that itch. My pretenses of being a rational human vanish. When I consider Mistress, I am lost.

I prepare for my visit to her home. Shower, shave where I need to be hairless, the tricky part being my scrotum. I clean my asshole with a stream of water and liquid soap, working two fingers in to feel the stretch and know it is ready for her use, should she so desire.

When my body is clean, I make certain my clothes are clean, starched and ironed. My boots are shined, belt is shined, belt buckle gleaming.

I have the flowers she loves, a bouquet of roses, in yellow, red, pink, and white.

I knock on the door.

“It’s unlocked. Come in,” says a voice on the intercom by the door bell.

I enter. On the table in the foyer is a vase for the roses, with water. I place the roses in the vase as artfully as I can. Next I empty my pockets, keys, wallet, along with the collar I so carefully worked and polished the night before. It will be placed about my neck at Mistress’s discretion.

In the foyer closet are the hangers for my clothes. Even though I meticulously prepared my clothes and boots, they always go here. When I am naked, I turn off the light. I kneel on the cold and hard marble tiles of her foyer. And wait in the darkness.

The room was cold that night. My nipples hardened. My scrotum shrank. I was uncomfortable.

I hear Mistress coming. The darkness is complete, but for the light of her candle.

“Kneel up. Eyes forward”., as if I could see in the near complete darkness. A blindfold is placed over my eyes. Assured that I can see nothing, she then turns on the light.

“Present yourself.” I stand, hands at my sides. I can feel and hear her breathing. She takes out the skin fold calipers and begins to measure the bodyfat around my waist.

“Acceptable. Kneel for my collar.”

I kneel to accept the collar as it goes about my neck. Then a lead is fastened to the collar’s D-ring. I can smell the leather of the collar I worked on the night before.

“Follow.” I crawl behind her, the lead slack.

Crawling through the house, I feel the floor surfaces, tile, hardwood, an occasional carpet runner.

“Stop.” I hear Mistress open a door. I smell the essential oils in the fragrance diffuser. Ylang Ylang and lemon grass.

I notice that I am no longer crawling on a hardwood floor, but carpet. I cross the carpet. My hand collides with a heavy chair leg.

“Stop. On your back. Scoot under the chair. Pay proper homage to Your Queen.” It is a familiar command and always a welcome one. I know the Queening Chair, its open seat, the headrest and cradle where my head belongs. When I am in position, she raises the cradle adjusts it so that my mouth and tongue will align with her labia or clitoris, or her perineum and anus, depending on how she positions herself. Since I am blindfolded I have no idea of what the whims of her senses may be tonight.

Then the scent of her sex overwhelms me. I set to work, aware of my duty, eager to please. Broad flat tongue strokes on her labia. “Yes. More.” She shifts slightly. Her clit. I lick, I suck, I even dared to nip it with my teeth, before licking it again. I hear her growl of pleasure, the only sign I have fulfilled my duties.

“Scoot out. Good job.” She hands me a water bottle. I drink.

She fixes the lead again. “Time for your milking.” I was surprised and excited an the prospect of an orgasm.

I follow her to a bench that exposes buttocks and anus. The bench allows me to rest my upper body, while my penis juts out, available for whatever stroking she wishes to give it.

I feel the gloved finger, the lube, the stretching, the teasing in and out. The dildo pushes in next. My prick hardens more. I feel her hips against me. I am excited and strangely serene.

“Tonight I will collect.” It was a command I had been told about. Until tonight I had never heard it said.

She began the thrusting in my ass, along with the stroking of my dick. My pleasure was building. I was going to ejaculate. When the crisis came, she placed a lubricated tube, made to the thickness of my penis to collect the semen.

I was satisfied. I am always, slut that I am.

“I’m surprised by the yield. Let’s hope the sperm have good motility. I’m taking your blindfold off.”

The room was appropriately dim and my eyes adjusted easily.

“Come to the bed. You may walk.”

I went to the bed, climbed in beside her. We were, in that moment, almost like a regular couple. Vanilla. Almost equals.

“With any luck, your sperm will impregnate a woman in a lesbian marriage. Yes you will be a father, pay child support, medical bills, school tuition from pre-kindergarten through graduate school. But you will never meet your child or the mother.

“You have been chosen because of your good health, intelligence, financial success. You are a modern day god, a Zeus or Apollo.”

I was stunned. I was used. I felt empty. But such are the consequences of absolute service.

Conscious Streaming

I am awake. It is 8:52 AM (Eastern Time, North America). This constitutes “normal”, in my opinuon. I am watching film footage of Paris in the 1960’s on You Tube. Nobody is wearing a tee-shirt. Men are wearing suits, women dresses. Today the international uniform style of dress consists of variants on the tee-shirt and denim trousers. For men. For women. The exception is the hijab for women among Islam’s followers.

I was supposed to make pumpkin bread for my Medieval Philosophy study group. It ain’t happening. I don’t even think I will go. I just don’t feel up for it. I need more sleep.

YouTube now features a travelogue about Sweden from 1949. In colour. Seventy years ago. May as well be 700 years.

I need to pack J’s lunch before I go back to bed.

I can now go back to sleep.

Morning. Early.

I wish I knew what the deal was around sleep. I wake up, lie in bed a bit, falling back asleep doesn’t come easily or quickly. Now I am watching old Bugs Bunny cartoons at 3:34 AM. Feeling sleepy again. I suspect Elmer Fudd won’t catch Bugs in this cartoon either.

Waffles. Homemade. Yummy

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I have a waffle recipe from a 13 year old Weight Watchers© Cookbook. It uses beaten egg whites to make them nice and fluffy. It takes a little planning and organizing to make it work. One must

  1. Mix the dry ingredients
  2. Mix the sugar, egg yolks, and buttermilk or yogurt together.
  3. Beat the egg whites until stiff and fold them into the combined wet & dry ingredients listed in 1 & 2.
  4. Cook in your hot waffle maker.

Notice I didn’t put in quantities of ingredients or any other useful information. Not smart on my part. Here is the cookbook:

Weight Watchers© New Complete Cookbook. Wiley Publishing (Hoboken, NJ) 2006

Buttermilk Pancakes pg.91. Use the waffle modification,

It helps to be in a relationship so you don’t eat all of the waffles yourself in one sitting.

I suggest you either a) get into a relationship , if not in one already, or b) store cooked waffles in refrigerator or freezer.

There is no reason why you can’t both be in a relationship and store the uneaten waffles.

You need any other tips for successful living? Make comments below. I will try to help as best I can.

The Payback

Well, I overcame the general ennui and funk of my recent post Waking, Reluctantly yesterday by doing some yardwork that needed to be done. Routine maintenance like lawn mowing and leaf raking is done by the groundskeepers hired by the HOA management company, but the more specialized stuff is done by the resident/homeowner (me). My front garden had mimosa saplings growing in it last year, as well as a Virginia creeper vine that managed to climb up the screen on the living room window. My house had an appearance that was part Dr Seuss, part Addams Family. I was heartily sick of looking at the mess.

My late ex-wife (ex #2) was a gardener by avocation and a good one. I always admired her skill and

Collateral Damage From Yard Work

her passion for the yard. Inspired by her memory, embarrassed by the sorry look, and motivated to do something positive, I put on some old clothes and got to work. Digging out the saplings wasn’t too bad. The ground was wet enough so that simply digging around the saplings got all five of them out. Then a shrub on the end, (species unknown to me) got trimmed a bit. Next I cut back the vine, although I was unable to dig it out. When I get my Social Security money next week, I will get some mulch to put down, plus some hanging baskets, and planters for the front porch.

Now my diligence is being acknowledged by the pain in my arthritic left hip and at my fusion site. The Aleve I took seven hours ago is wearing off. Pride in accomplishment is now tempered by the pain.

Oh well

Waking,Reluctantly

This was a morning, that turned into a day, where my enthusiasm wasn’t quite where it needed to be.

Things are out of joint. I’m like AMTRAK. My “trains”, if you will, are running late. My trains, to explain the metaphor, are the activities I use to take me through the day. Swimming, meal preparation, writing, reading. Other “trains” on the line take me off schedule, for example, a half-hearted search for video pornography on the internet. I think I will find something gratifying, never do. I just want to find lovers perform who actually love each other.

Never mind. Now I am writing, getting my thoughts out.
Thought 1). I can’t transform my home in one day.

Thought 2). I have goals to achieve. I want to write the novel that is in me.

Better now.