Still. Tired.

It is almost 5:30. I have been home about 14 hours. I’m sitting in my chair, waiting for the Northbound Silver Meteor #98 to go through Ashland. I hear the train horn now, see the distant light on the screen. Cars and trucks are moving about the picture as Ashland stirs. The train is actually about an hour late. Here it comes now. The gates go down.  The interior lights of the train are off, except for the dining car.

J is getting ready for work. I will go back to sleep when she leaves.

Home: The Clean-up

Going away involves getting the dirty clothes from the trip washed when one returns home. I am doing that now.

I talked with #1 son last night. He wants to do more stuff with me. No problem there. He is far more emotional than I am and gives me feedback like it’s OK to cry. He told me he has a greater sense of my stepmother in his his life than my mother. Mother died in 1995, when he was 19. Dorothy, my stepmother, has been in the family since 1998, or twenty-one years. so he is right. My perspective is much broader, naturally. His concern around her current illness is quite painful for him. She is the last of the grandparents and step-grandparents in his life. Her passing will represent the final act of the Greatest Generation.

I have a post planned around the billboards I saw on the trip from The Villages through to our first stop in Macon, GA. In short, it seemed the ads for porn shops, liquor, erectile dysfunction treatments, hormone replacement therapy, HIV testing, and pro-life concerns outnumbered the usual exhortations to accept Jesus, once the billboard mainstay of the Bible Belt. Sexual liberation, it seems, is not without complications or limitations.

So I am tired. And hungry. I will have dinner with J when she gets off work at 2:30. I am incredibly glad to be home. I feel like I have been away from everyone here, my cyber-family.

Home

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I am home from this trip to Florida. The trip back transpired over two days, stopping in Georgia and North Carolina. I drove through the Durham area, where my deceased ex-wife grew up and where her family lived when we were married. I thought about my failure as a husband in that marriage.

Upon my return, I learned my 93-year old stepmother is in hospital with congestive heart failure.

Also my first wife, mother of my elder son is moving back to Richmond.

My life is taking on the makings of a movie on The Hallmark Channel.

I am tired. Physically. Emotionally I am overwhelmed.

Macon, Georgia

We are in Macon, Georgia. I am eating a banana nut muffin, part of the breakfast that comes with the room at the Fairfield Inn by Marriott. We have one more night on the road. We could make Richmond in one day, only an eight hour drive but J says no. She is currently sleeping. It is 10 AM.

So much of America looks the same as every other part. That is all I am going to say.

Funeral At The Villages

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I wore a suit for most of the day. I hadn’t done that in years. To tell the truth, I liked the experience. I wore a tropical wool tan suit, with a black patterned tie,white dress shirt, cordovan shoes. I looked good. I thought I would be inappropriately dressed, not wearing a dark suit. No worries. There were three of us in jackets & ties. This is a Florida retirement community. I could have worn my white sneakers and not been out of place.

The funeral was low key. The reception after was well-attended by Dan’s gardening colleagues. The Villages community has very nice residents, thoughtful and caring. The golf, golf carts, and pickleball (whatever that is) fade into the background.

Tonight we went out to dinner. The local Corvette Club had its members’ cars on display at Lake Sumter Landing. So we got to see these geriatric teenagers show off their rides.

The Villages has a reputation for sexual promiscuity, The Birth Control Culture grew up and old, but is still looking for cock or a piece of tail. That didn’t show up in my take on The Villages. Just kind of a place where old men try to pick up where they left off, before they shipped out to ‘Nam. I can’t much blame them. Our niece, aged 42, and daughter of the deceased, has a similar take on The Villages as I do: Disneyland Without The Rides.

My verdict in The Villages, It’s OK, I suppose.

The Villages, Florida

I am in The Villages, Florida for the funeral of J’s brother. He died 29 March of complications of ALS. We spent the week driving down here. I am desperate to go home. I’ve been having an internal debate about the virtues and shortcomings of The Villages. I will say more later. Right now I am exhausted. I want to be home.

But we have the funeral and the drive home. I have been told we will spend two days driving back, through Atlanta, then Charlotte.

Let this end.

St Augustine, Florida

I don’t travel well. After Savannah, we drove down to St Augustine, Florida. It is a nice town, as tourist towns go. We ate at a seafood place last night called O. C. White Seafood. We had a nice meal at a fair price. I had Wahoo, J had shrimp in a cream sauce over linguini. The weather is still cool, a real blessing. The leaves are out down South, a couple of weeks ahead of Richmond

Sixty or so years ago, before Disney dominated Florida tourism, there were places like Cypress Gardens with water ski-ing shows and the glass bottom boat tours. There were alligator themed attractions and the Bok Bell Tower. We never went. But kitsch reigned. Now it is a different kitsch; consider Machine Gun World or Indoor Skydiving.

Tourists are different, I suppose. Last night at dinner a lesbian couple with their two children sat near us. They didn’t seem that much different from any other family, quite frankly. The tourists wear their tee-shirts and cargo shorts. Some wear hijabs. Most are obese.

Tourism is about convincing people to stay a while and spend some money. It started on a large scale at the turn of the Twentieth Century when large numbers of people began to have money to travel and experience something new, if only a Ferris Wheel at Coney Island.

When I began, I said I didn’t travel well. My life has structure built into it, swimming pools, grocery stores, a kitchen. When I am away from that structure, I am at loose ends. Even when I write this blog, I feel I am under different conditions, but the smartphone I use is the same. The stories I write are on hold. My imagination needs a space to, well, imagine.

Today involves driving to The Villages. Tomorrow is the funeral. Saturday and Sunday are for the drive home.

But right now, at 8:00 AM, I need more sleep.

A Hotel In Savannah

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We drove from Lumberton, North Carolina to Savannah, Georgia, stopping for gas, a shopping trip to the Sabatier Knife Outlet (I am a fan of Sabatier K Thiers knives) in Yemassee, South Carolina and the Georgia Welcome Center, where Forrest Gump sits on his

park bench. What else can I say?

We decided to stay in downtown Savannah at the DeSoto Hotel, influenced, in part, by the fact that my grandfather, whom we called Pop, drove a DeSoto automobile.

It’s a nice hotel, except that the shower curtain is inadequate to block the water from running out the bottom of their really nice walk in shower, with two shower heads. There were no instructions on how to turn off the smaller handheld head. It was a mess waiting to happen.

The room has a kingsize bed, very comfortable. There are also the usual mechanical noises, compressor motors run incessantly.

After we checked in, we walked around a bit, but it was cold and windy. We thiught we could find a nice restaurant. I suppose there are nice ones besides the 1540 Restaurant inside the hotel, but the chilly weather discouraged us. We did eat at 1540. We had two entrées at the low end of their price points. J had a nice chicken pot pie, I had the braised oxtails on dirty rice. Both were excellent. I had never had oxtails before. I couldn’t see much difference between them and a chuck pot roast, but what do I know?

Our trip continues. We got a voicemail from Father Tony, our parish priest, checking up on us. We were touched by his concern. He is a real pastor, so despite the fact he doesn’t celebrate the Mass ad orientam, I am glad we stayed at St Benedict after Father Kauffmann was transferred.

We are enjoying each other’s company. We both found the Lion’s Den Adult Superstore kind of creepy. I saw it as more laughable than offensive. J found it offensive, although the sign said the store was for men, women, and couples. Yuck. It seems that the billboard signage on I-95 has a large Jesus Saves sign near the billboards for The Lion’s Den and its competitor Fantasy Land, as if to dissuade us from visuting these dens of iniquity. And dildoes.

Noteworthy for its staggering banality is South Of The Border, a motel complex on I-95, just south of the North Carolina / South Carolina line. The enticement of its Reptile Lagoon was not enough to lure J into checking it out.

So like Simon and Garfunkel, a half century earlier, We’ve All Gone To Look For America.

Motel Rooms

I’m sitting in a motel room in Lumberton, North Carolina at 1:15 AM. (Eastern Time North America). We drove four hours from Richmond to arrive here last night around 7:00 PM.

It isn’t a bad room. The last time I stayed in a hotel/.motel was six months ago when we visited Dan, in what would turn out to be the last time we saw him.

There were times when I traveled for business a lot. When I sold insurance, I traveled. When I was doing store sets, I traveled. I had one gig when I would drive to places like Pawley’s Island, North Carolina to set out a new line of paint in Ace Hardware stores. It wasn’t a bad deal. Of course, it wasn’t the kind of job someone with spinal stenosis needed to be doing.

J still considers travel an “adventure”. She likes it. I think driving or riding in a car or flying in an airplane is kind of boring.

I miss my home, my YMCA. my friends, and my routine.

I do like being with J. This is the good part of the trip.

March Recap. April Plans

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We are leaving tomorrow for my brother-in-law’s funeral. We plan to drive and take our time because the funeral is Friday in The Villages, Florida. I am ambivalent about going because I lost a lot of time in the pool in March when I was sick. So I won’t have a chance to restart a regular routine until I return. J likes to go places, me less so. This will be her time, I figure.

In April, I am going to recommit myself on several endeavours I said I would do, but have yet to start. I want to use my film 35mm. SLR camera again. The camera shop says they will help. The guy there has a soft spot for them.

I want to write more, maybe move beyond erotica. I want to be published. And famous. And have the World idolize me for being The Swell Guy that I am.

I want to square away the room I sometimes use for sleeping. I keep my clothes in there. The mattress on the bed is over fifty years old. I want a new one.

There was too much mortality touching my life this month, from Dan (J’s brother) to two AA friends, one from Creutzfeld Jacob Disease, another from a heart attack while running. That friend was only 63, and a regular runner. CJD, as it’s called, is an acute debilitating neuromuscular disease that kills swiftly, unlike ALS, which takes its time.

So my alma mater The University of Virginia made the NCAA Men’s Basketball Final Four. I am not a big basketball fan but I do recognize that as a tremendous accomplishment.

I’m getting back to the weight loss/ weight management routine, I am at 183 lbs (83,4 kg) today. I need to be around 175 lbs (79.4kg), I think.

That’s about it. Later Loves 💘