I had a weird dream about surviving a shipwreck and needing to draw all of my loved ones close to me.

There is anger I feel toward politicians and bishops and generals. Everyone who makes life for the humble difficult, who offer cruelty, rather than comfort.

It’s a long slow road to insanity for me. I did not sleep with my wife last night. I started in our bed, but moved to the other bed where the dreams rolled through my head as J. S. Bach’s St Matthew Passion Played on the CD player.

Today they remember the martyred Czar Nicholas II in the Russian Orthodox Church. We have elections wherein we hold the politicians accountable to the people. They give the people access to drugs, whores, gambling. They vote to bankroll the weapons of war and then authorise the wars themselves . Then we delude ourselves that protecting our freedom means killing peasants on the other side of the world. Absurd.

Freedom isn’t free, but we shouldn’t be overcharged for it either.

I want to go back to bed, sleep some more , maybe have restful dreams and hope the spectre of loneliness not afflict me.