I don’t know how to begin this. I’m angry at myself for not communicating with J. I can’t share what my needs are.

Today, before I even start to share anything, she says, “What have I done wrong?”

I immediately shut down. I felt so guilty about sharing anything that I kept quiet.

I know. I’m a crappy communicator. But when what I say will only hurt her and she’s doing the best job of loving she can do, I figure it’s best to say nothing. I went up early, slept a little, then woke up, came back downstairs.

I packed her lunch for tomorrow., actually, today. Now I am watching cartoons on YouTube. I made some decaf. Peanut butter on a toasted English muffin is in my future.