I don’t know how to begin this. I’m angry at myself for not communicating with J. I can’t share what my needs are.
Today, before I even start to share anything, she says, “What have I done wrong?”
I immediately shut down. I felt so guilty about sharing anything that I kept quiet.
I know. I’m a crappy communicator. But when what I say will only hurt her and she’s doing the best job of loving she can do, I figure it’s best to say nothing. I went up early, slept a little, then woke up, came back downstairs.
I packed her lunch for tomorrow., actually, today. Now I am watching cartoons on YouTube. I made some decaf. Peanut butter on a toasted English muffin is in my future.
Dispatches From Dystopia 
Rearrange your thoughts and communicate in a calm manner so that you can get your thoughts out and allow her in so she knows what’s going on with you.. ❤️❤️…
Thanks.
why does she say that before you say anything??….is it because she fears what she knows is actually happening and doesnt want to address it??…its hard for you to open up when confronted with that question….hugs
I don’t know. I just have to try again. The vibe I get is that she thinks “wife” is a job with tasks to perform.
hhhmmm….difficult one … finding the right time to sit and have an open conversation is hard with her working and coming home tired…wanting to chill out watching tv…not wanting to address anything that might be confrontational …. maybe when you both go to new york…different place…doing fun things together might help you both
Yes. We are postponing the trip due to COVID-19, but the idea of alone doing something special has merit.
thats understandable…they are going nuts over here…empty shelves of food…so a good idea… something to look forward to
J works at Target, the #2 Retailer behind Wal-Mart, (not counting Amazon). They sell out of hand sanitizer and cleaning supplies nearly every day. Given the nature of related viruses (Avian Flu) this should dissipate as a threat, fairly soon. Seniors and those with compromised immune systems are at greatest risk.
I understand why she says “what have i done wrong” it is like a knee jerk reaction – and it is difficult to learn that u are not loving the person u love, in the way they want u to love them.
I think the comment above about arranging your thoughts. Maybe write them down and ask her to write some down too. And both have time to talk – one at a time
– good luck