This is it, as good as it will ever be. Time to stop waiting for when circumstances will improve.
When I finish this post, I will go to my room with the captain’s bed and its ancient mattress and begin throwing away. I will think dirty thoughts while I do it, eating J’s cunt, wondering how far my tongue can get up J’s ass.
The only way she will know I can’t go on with the status quo is to tell her, not in words but with action.