I went from sound asleep to wide awake in a matter of minutes. Around Three AM, I woke up to urinate. I probably should not have drunk that herb tea. Then I started to think about things, things I am powerless over. And then the loneliness sets in, followed by worrying about getting the recycling to the curb in time, making it to the dentist for a cleaning, getting to a meeting and the Y. Then I worry about dinner, if I will ever have sex again or if sex is even worth the bother. All this internal drama within an hour has me awake and, worse yet, worrying if I can keep my feelings in check.

I went downstairs. While writing this post, I am watching cricket, Afghanistan vs West Indies in the T20I format from India. I am not a big limited overs fan but this is what is available. The uniforms are so silly looking.

Now Train. #98 The Silver Meteor passes through Ashland on time, headed to New York. The camera pans to capture the empty town, illuminated by orange-tinted sodium vapor lights. I can hear only a strange rumbling noise. Is it an approaching freight? Must be. I shall wait and see.

I’m thankfully getting sleepy again. And maybe my heart won’t break. And maybe I can at least try to be happy.