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J and I have two really bad complementary habits. We hoard and we procrastinate going through the piles and piles of pay stubs, paid invoices, paid medical bills, greeting cards, church bulletins (for both important and trivial occasions), Holy Cards, and interwoven with all of this conglomeration of paper, junk mail.
Well, there’s a new David in town and he is attacking one of the Rooms O’ Crap. I just spent two hours going through stuff, put some recyclable paper in a shopping bag (or as my grandfather called it a “poke”), and shredded some, but not nearly enough.
This is all part of letting go for me. I have to retain some, I suppose, in case the IRS decides to audit us.
It’s all about avoidance. To grasp the short term pleasure of a book, game, TV show, cup of coffee, even, especially, pornography.
But this is what humans do. I didn’t invent this behaviour, despite what my mother and ex-wives said. I may have perfected it, but I didn’t invent it.
The room is in transition, as the picture will attest.
you are getting there that is the main thing ๐
Oh yes. This is at least a weeks worth of work.
this ends up being a horrid and dreaded chore. maybe you need a recycling bin by the most used desk for paper? Or a shredder whererver it mostly accumulates? i put everything in a basket and shred when its full . ugh
We have a shredder. Using it now. Big time
You know what i was thinking during the bus ride this morning? She calls her little part “Gigi”…but what if it’s really “GG” (like Good Girl)?? ๐ ๐
i think you need a place where you immediately can put what you want to keep. i used to use photo storage boxes for that purpose. They have index type dividers you can use to separate however you wish.
Good idea. When we move into area with more of her stuff, that’s a good plan. One thing I plan to do is clear off a table now filled with computer stuff and dedicate to jigsaw puzzles and her crafts which she likes to do.
Her hoarding and laziness creates an environment that doesn’t serve her.
Sounds like you need to introduce some rules around this, honestly. Clutter is an issue that has a lot of problems that come with it like frustration and a constant sense of stress.
Clutter rules. Yes!. The clutter is “brat” behavior,isn’t it?
Itโs SR who clutters here! But yes!!! Itโs bratty for her. Sure.
I let her get away with it for the whole marriage. Now the change. Assertive but gently.
Or you
Also, we cuddled this morning ๐
Ohhhhh yes! THAT is intimacy!! Real intimacy!!! Look at what you are building!!! โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
Yes. I was gently assertive in moving to her side of the bed, very gently stroking her back, pressing into her ads with my hips.
If she sees you as her protector, nothing feels better than being held tight. Itโs safety. Itโs also releasing happy hormones in both of you โค๏ธ
Getting excited.
It also makes me curious about what she is doing to show you love. What do you notice?
Very little. She will buy lunch when we go out, when my cash is low. She lacks a lot of confidence.
She might be telling you she loves you in ways that are simply not your love language
Exactly. She once said she wasn’t very “lovey-dovey”. She uses a love language she feels confident with.
it is an important practice to see how others are saying they love us, even if it feels like we are translating from a foreign language. In time, they know ours and vice versa but every love language isn’t going to feel as comfortable as others (at first or permanently).
Usually I never comment on blogs but your article is so convincing that I never stop myself from saying something about it. Youโre doing a great job Man,Keep it up.
https://stubsondemand.com/paystubs/what-is-a-pay-stub-and-what-is-on-a-pay-stub/
Thanks.