I was up later than usual last night. I wrote an erotic, sexually explicit story at the behest of one of this blog’s followers. Then I went upstairs, ostensibly to sleep, but my wife was watching TeeVee. I got her to play a Seinfeld DVD, which usually facilitates my dozing off. The episodes serve as bedtime stories for me. I know them almost by heart and the familiar voices relax me. But I don’t just doze off and awaken seven or eight hours later. I woke up around 6:30 AM, roughly four hours later, seemingly alert. Now consciousness makes her demands known. I am watching YouTube, drinking coffee (Colombian), eating fruit and cheese. The sleepiness is working it’s way back. And this half wakeful state is most compelling.
“To sleep, perchance to dream…”
This lethargy has me dreaming, sort of, but I’m still steering this ship of consciousness. So the dreams aren’t really dreams, just puny, willful fantasies. The real dreams are when the monsters, gremlins, and imps within us take the reins. And suddenly I’m re-living horrible jobs and dysfunctional marriages. Suddenly alternative endings take shape.
But the greatest dream is to imagine things being different. And it take wakefulness for that outcome to materialize.