After every holiday comes the feeling, both welcome and unwelcome of normalcy returning. The magic has gone away, kind of like a snow man melting. Magic will return. We just don’t know when. That is what what makes magic special. It has no schedule and is as capricious as a faltering libido. There is stuff I need to do around here. The self-care, like exercise and food preparation, I need to do is critical. Part of that self-care is writing the blog. Blogging has moved beyond hobby to a part of my full participation in the community of life.
Through this blog, I have let my anger about the world’s injustice and mendacity ameliorate. That anger is just another expression of my narcissism. “I’m not getting what I want and it’s somebody else’s fault!” I have learned to accept the rants of others as I hope they accept mine. My opinions are not a full reflection of who I am. That means your opinions don’t fully or accurately reflect who you are. They are like images in a fun-house mirror.
I have been able to express my feelings and frustrations around my sexuality, no small feat. Where do I fit in? When do I assert myself? When is expressing my desires to a somewhat indifferent, resistant, prudish mate like “casting pearls before swine”? When am I forced to accept my own advice about the complexity and subtleties of love?
And always I return to read the other bloggers’ stories and learn of their lives.