I hope I don’t have some sort of sexual dysfunction. I remain attracted to women and my physical responses are still present. There is something going on however. I no longer delight in tales and anecdotes of sexual escapades.
I have looked at my sex life and my interest in sexual matters. Revulsion is now the operative word. Not guilt over what I have done. Truth is, what I’ve wanted is love. Human sexual activity may or may not be about love. And in 2017 America it ain’t!
I see nothing loving in adultery, even when you slap the word polyamory on it. I see nothing loving in promiscuity, even when that is rationalized away. I am repulsed at fetishising sexual chastity, when chastity is debased to a super-thrill. Brutality is still brutality, even when it is “safe, sane, and consensual”.
Human sexuality is the playground of the selfish and self-serving and has been for a long time. The rules of the Judeo-Christian marriage, chiefly monogamous, lifelong unions between a man and woman make more sense than the values of the “hook-up” culture. Among those dubious values are divorce, cohabitation outside of marriage, and artificial contraception.
I’m sure many of you are shocked by these statements. Or annoyed. I just want off the Sexual Fantasy Island. Because I see the misery out there living the Free Love Lie.
Dispatches From Dystopia 
This is refreshing to read. I don’t like sex. I’m not asexual – the attraction is there; but I don’t enjoy the actual physical part of it I like cuddling and holding hands; but even some forms of kissing are not for me
Sadly, sex seems to be all most people care about.
It took me years, like over 50 years, from when I was 13 to my middle sixties to fully understand to how pernicious this hypersexualized is. It is down right weird. It is OK to be where you are around sex. You perceptions and feelings are valid.
I have always known…just never had any real desire for it or need. I thought I actually was asexual, until I realized that asexuality is about sexual attraction, rather than not liking sexual intercourse. It’s very valid…just makes dating that much tougher, at least for me. People have pressured me into it and I’ve ended up hating myself for it.
For what it’s worth, my sister was single until her mid-50’s. She liked men, but wasn’t going to settle for just anybody merely to avert loneliness. She met her future husband at a choir rehearsal. She was 57. They married 6 years ago. He was The One. A perfect match.
I don’t want to wait that long, but that’s that’s a beautiful story. My mum met her 3rd (and still current) husband at almost 50. Third time lucky I guess. I’d like to be able to adopt and I don’t want to do that alone or wait until I’m in my 50s.
I guess just be open to finding love. Live your life. Thanks for sharing yourself and reading my blog.