I can remember days of being in no particular hurry, when staying home with a lover was all the luxury I could imagine. My son would be farmed off to his grandparents and sex with my lover would ease the pain of my failed marriage.

Back then I was a sorry excuse for a hedonist. I was too busy, in my head, rationalizing my fornication. My ex-wife’s adultery could give me some justification. I could tell myself I was “in love”, and might just marry this woman I was schtupping, but by God’s rule book I was still violating one of the Big Ten.

Fast forward about forty four years and I’m still mystified by the Judaeo-Christian rules of sex. The simple desire for orgasm trumps an awful lot of ethical treatises. Then again the ethicists keep harkening back to the children. And the children are pretty damned important.

But now, my breeding years are over. There’s no ovulation going on around here on my wife’s part. Somehow everything else we do is a priority. Everything. Lube is going to waste.

I’m going to have to take some risks, to break this cycle.

I feel lazy, more than slothful. Sloth refers more to a spiritual laziness, the lack of interest in matters of theology, but the alliteration counts for something here.

I took a shower and I’m lying nude on the bed in the other bedroom, fantasizing about naked women, more lustful than lazy, looking for reasons not to get dressed. There must be women who just wanna have fun in the friendly confines of an air conditioned house.

You know who you are.

Sometimes we use words because we have no tears.

On 20 June, I had a cataract removed and a brand spankin’ new artificial lens was implanted to replace the bad lens. It took awhile for the eye to recover. But now I can leer at women, just like before.

Modern medicine is great.

The only person worse than a schmuck with money is a schmuck with tenure.

Why do all these actors in these prescription drug commercials for catastrophic illnesses look so healthy?

Owl’s Bowels- The Journal of Nocturnal Raptor Gastroenterology.

Are you sure it was Gavin Newsom, who starred in Love Boat?

How dare Disney make these cartoons that suck after giving us Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, and Goofy?!

Attorney General Merrick Garland needs a trip to Cabo San Lucas or at least Tropical Tans of Tysons Corner. The man is whiter than Elmer’s Glue-All.

I’ll bet the Southern Baptists are prepared to evangelize the Extra-Terrestrials. Forget about female humans under the age of 97.

Does anybody else think that USPS commercial about how the mail does “move it” is the greatest scam since Sans-A-Belt slacks?

How many male to female cross dressers choose to dress as Russian middle aged peasant women from the Soviet Era?

Who yearn to be kissed

and hugged and held

To feel a hand stroke your bare skin.

Who wants someone to wake up next to you,

And feel an erection press against you.

I’m here, if only in a dream.

I’ve been running on reserve power for about twenty four hours now. I find something that stimulates, then overstimulates me, from old black and white movies to YouTube videos of trains or excision of epidermoid cysts.

I slept a little bit, then woke, stayed awake, then tried to sleep some more. I have feelings of anger and now, heartbreak. I learned that a young woman, 25, just died from an aneurysm. Most likely, it was an undetected birth defect. This is hard to take on little sleep.

I’m flying the colours this Memorial Day. It’s also the anniversary of my aunt’s passing in 2011.

Not quite in the mood for a cookout.