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Dispatches From Dystopia

~ "What man by worrying can add one cubit to his span of years?"

Dispatches From Dystopia

Author Archives: David

Tired.

28 Thursday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Uncategorized

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It is after midnight. I am tired. Yet there is no desire to go to bed.  There is a psychic hurt. I do not wish to sleep beside my wife. 

I am watching an old travelogue about Buenos Aires from the late Forties or Fifties on YouTube. It is public relations produced for the Peron Regime. 

There are worse things to do.

Sometimes You Eat The Bear…

20 Wednesday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Exercise/ Fitness, Health Issues

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Tags

Pain

Sometimes the bear eats you.

I had my six-month check-up today. Weight at the Doctor’s office 186.8 lbs. BP is 120/80. We are waiting to hear about the blood work. Maybe there are no more statin drugs in my future. The cost for the generic is not great, but it sure would be nice to have one less pill to take.  Weight Watchers meeting is today. I weigh 183.6 lbs on their scale. Even better. Goal weight 179 lbs is only 4.6 lbs away. We have a great meeting, very positive.

Then….

I go swimming, a little tired, but I go. And it feels like I’m crawling through concrete about ready to set. I finish.  And I’m hurting, sore and aching. I go home.  And I want the pain to go away. So I’m resting with ice. And Advil.

Life is good. On balance. 

Waiting For The Fog To Lift

16 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Relationships, Sexuality

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

#A.N.Roquelaure

Actually, it is a lovely late summer day, only a few days away from the Autumnal Equinox.  There is no real fog. But in my head, it’s another matter. I’m engaged in the mental wrestling match, pitting Desire against Inhibition.  I realize that my fear of rejection has me keep silent in the agonizing climate of sexual negativity inside my marriage. If I state my needs, her issues will be expressed and they will override what my desires are.  This sucks.

And my usual outlets, based on a rich fantasy life and the accompanying auto-erotic self-stimulation, don’t work any more.  Those outlets are about self-centeredness and only exacerbate the loneliness.

 There are only so many games to watch on TV, laps to swim, and cold showers to take.  I’m giving Anne Rice’s Beauty‘s Kingdom another read-through, seeking some respite in the sumptuous, but implausible, decadence. 

Would I walk away from my world and my values, just to feel better or different right now? Stay tuned.

I Love The Apochrypha

12 Tuesday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Catholic Life, Smartphones, Uncategorized

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Sirach 18 : 26 – From morning until evening, the time will be changed, and all these are swift in the eyes of God.

http://goo.gl/r2rtvd

Elvis

11 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Uncategorized

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#The King. #Elvis

This van speaks for itself. As long as we can immortalize The King on our vehicles, the American Spirit is alive and well.

Sunday Morning

10 Sunday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Catholic Life, Family, Sport

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Tags

#NFL

Mr. Good Catholic here managed to sleep through any chance of getting to 11:00 Mass. There is always the 4:30 Extraordinary Form (Latin ) Mass.  

I woke up fully embracing the gift of being alive. I should eat something, I suppose. The sun is shining, the temperature is pleasant. 

This is the first Sunday of the NFL season. Pro football is one of my guilty pleasures. I admit it.  Other guilty pleasures of mine include fried salt herring,  Looney Tunes from the 30’s and 40’s,  and Krispy Kreme Donuts.

As near as I know, our Florida friends and family are safe.  Several of them are in law enforcement, so I suspect they will be needed. My brother-in-law’s mother lives in Bradenton. She is around 90 and her daughter took her to her home in Georgia. We just hope she has a home to return to.  Praying for the folks in Florida.

4:18 AM And Awake

09 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Literature, loneliness, Love and stuff

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I have been up since 3:30 or thereabouts. I went upstairs last night to be with Mrs CorC?. She was watching The Andy Griffith Show episodes, then shows on lottery winners shopping for new houses on HGTV. OK. That was nice, I suppose, but the house-hunting millionaires inspired such chagrin in me I can’t begin to describe it. I have a house, I have a pretty good life. What do I care about the desires of lottery winners?.

Usually at this hour, I take time to pray the Rosary.  Now I am watching a movie in Greek about the poet C. P. Cavafy on YouTube. Since I don’t understand Greek, I must follow the story through the images and visual narrative. This is always a rewarding activity in that it gets one out of a customary way of seeing the world.

I feel sleep wanting to return. I’m debating whether to return to the “big bed” where my wife is sleeping or to sleep alone

Who can describe the pain of loneliness and the burdened heart? Blessed Mother you know me so well. Let me aspire to dream at your feet, enveloped in your pristine love.

The Thrill Is Gone

08 Friday Sep 2017

Posted by David in Love and stuff, Relationships, Sexuality

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

#Adultery. #Promiscuity

I hope I don’t have some sort of sexual dysfunction.  I remain attracted to women and my physical responses are still present. There is something going on however. I no longer delight in tales and anecdotes of sexual escapades.  

I have looked at my sex life and my interest in sexual matters.  Revulsion is now the operative word.  Not guilt over what I have done.  Truth is, what I’ve wanted is love. Human sexual activity may or may not be about love. And in 2017 America it ain’t!

I see nothing loving in adultery, even when you slap the word polyamory on it. I see nothing loving in promiscuity, even when that is rationalized away. I am repulsed at fetishising sexual chastity, when  chastity is debased to a super-thrill. Brutality is still brutality, even when it is “safe, sane, and consensual”. 

Human sexuality is the playground of the selfish and self-serving and has been for a long time. The rules of the Judeo-Christian marriage, chiefly monogamous, lifelong unions between a man and woman make more sense than the values of the “hook-up” culture. Among those dubious values are divorce, cohabitation outside of marriage, and artificial contraception.

I’m sure many of you are shocked by these statements. Or annoyed.  I just want off the Sexual Fantasy Island. Because I see the misery out there living the Free Love Lie.

Miscellany. Wherein I Defend Confederate Monuments In Public Places.

31 Thursday Aug 2017

Posted by David in American History, Art, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Mrs CorC? was laid off last week in a cost-saving move by corporate. Sucks. We are using the down time to clear out junk in the old hacienda.  I took some books to the Y for their book sale. My dream is that we will be rid of enough stuff to commence work on the home remodel. The pricy stuff will be new windows, a rear patio door and hardwood flooring downstairs. With luck, we can have the house ready for the family at Christmas or Thanksgiving.

I’ve been on course to reach my weight loss goals. My swimming is coming along, well uh, swimmingly. I will do a 2-mile swim now without a second thought.

I live in Richmond, Virginia. We have in Richmond, an avenue where Confederate monuments are placed in positions of honor. They have been here for over a century. It is lovely statuary in an exquisite urban setting.  If political ideology clouds your aesthetic sense, you will be offended by monuments to Robert E. Lee and others.  Sorry. The street, Monument Avenue, is lovely .  Destroying beautiful things are what barbarians do. Art is also supposed to make one think and frequently makes us uncomfortable.  Think about that.

Yes, I know all about slavery. We Southern white males are not idiots. Nor are we ignorant. How is destroying Monument Avenue, even with its allusion to a tragic past, going to eliminate the horror of slavery from our history ?  Books in this country are already banned for superficial reasons. The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn is not taught in schools because Mark Twain used the “N” word.   The study of  history and literature isn’t for the timid.  Art isn’t about sentimentality. How can people we don’t much care for or agree with create beautiful things? Yet they do. And always have. 

This has been on my mind for a while. I needed to express my thoughts. 

Check it out

29 Tuesday Aug 2017

Posted by David in Uncategorized

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https://www.tumblr.com/restlesscatholic/162866065480/if-one-dream-should-fall-and-break-into-a-thousand

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