It is 0145. Once again I can’t sleep

When I was 23 years old, I joined The Marine Corps. I was in the 88th OCC, C Company. It took me about 24 hours to realise I had no business being there and dropped on request at the first chance I had. I did nothing wrong. And yet, I have an enormous sense of shame about this career choice.

I came home to collect delinquent auto loans for a bank that doesn’t exist any more. I moved to selling life insurance, property casualty insurance, hating these jobs as much as I did the Marine Corps, if not more. I met frauds, alcoholics, and con men ( Ponzi scheme operators).

Finally, I found work resetting grocery store category sections. It wasn’t bad, nor was it good. It was tolerable enough to endure. I got paid for „drive time“ to drive to god-forsaken places like Colonial Beach , Virginia, where I once saw bald eagles eat road kill.

I’ve managed to stay sober for almost 32 years, through deaths of my parents, job loss and divorce. I used the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

For me , recovery and sober living is about telling the truth about my life, facing the truth without flinching.

That is the whole point of this post.