The only person worse than a schmuck with money is a schmuck with tenure.

Why do all these actors in these prescription drug commercials for catastrophic illnesses look so healthy?

Owl’s Bowels- The Journal of Nocturnal Raptor Gastroenterology.

Are you sure it was Gavin Newsom, who starred in Love Boat?

How dare Disney make these cartoons that suck after giving us Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, and Goofy?!

Attorney General Merrick Garland needs a trip to Cabo San Lucas or at least Tropical Tans of Tysons Corner. The man is whiter than Elmer’s Glue-All.

I’ll bet the Southern Baptists are prepared to evangelize the Extra-Terrestrials. Forget about female humans under the age of 97.

Does anybody else think that USPS commercial about how the mail does “move it” is the greatest scam since Sans-A-Belt slacks?

How many male to female cross dressers choose to dress as Russian middle aged peasant women from the Soviet Era?

Who yearn to be kissed

and hugged and held

To feel a hand stroke your bare skin.

Who wants someone to wake up next to you,

And feel an erection press against you.

I’m here, if only in a dream.